The Secret Battle Of High-functioning Depression - Headspace

He listed all the things that were going well—our two kids were happy and healthy, our marriage was back on track after a couple of rocky fits, I was pursuing a career I loved, I was training for half marathons and teaching yoga. What could I possibly be depressed about? “We all go through down periods. Maybe it’s just a phase?” he asked. I looked down and nodded silently. The blues aren’t a new feeling but one that returns to me—sometimes slow and gradual, sometimes quick and fast like a jab to the chin. “Maybe … but this feels different.” At first, I thought it was just a case of the summer doldrums. But the feeling lingered through the rest of the summer and into the fall. I found myself going through the motions while physically present with friends and family. The typical joy and laughter was replaced by an absence of emotion, a hollowness in my gut that rivaled the Grand Canyon.

I figured my mood would lift once my kids were back in school and I'd re-established my routine. But it didn’t. I longed for quiet. I thought if I stood still long enough, maybe the air would vacuum seal around me and cocoon me from the frenetic pace of life. Still, I wasn’t convinced I was depressed depressed. I didn’t resemble the poster child for depression you see on TV or in the movies. I wasn’t stuck on my couch in a deep Netflix spiral unable to function. I wasn’t crying nonstop. I was keeping it together—helping my kids with homework, meeting deadlines, seeing friends and working through my to-do list like a champ. So, how could I be depressed? “Most people who suffer from depression function. They go to work and pick up their kids. They do all the things they’re supposed to do, but they’re not having a particularly good time doing it,” says Dr. Michael Yapko, clinical psychologist and author of “Keys to Unlocking Depression”. “Depression is the most common mood disorder and it isn’t the same for everyone. It can range from mild to severe.” But, according to a recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, depression often goes untreated, and those with less serious symptoms are less likely to receive treatment compared to those with serious conditions. Recently, high-functioning depression has come into the spotlight. “People are using the term to describe those who are doing well academically or professionally,” says Dr. Eva Stubits, a clinical psychologist. “On the outside, they seem to be successful but secretly they feel sadness inside.”