The Smart Girls' Guide To Winning Him Back - Cosmopolitan

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Sometimes it's over for all the right reasons, but now and again a relationship can be worth fighting for. <br /

Sometimes it's over for all the right reasons, but now and again a relationship can be worth fighting for.1

The ex factor

Sometimes it's over for all the right reasons, but now and again a relationship can be worth fighting for.2

DO back off

For the first couple of days immediately after the split, the best thing you can do to save your relationship is absolutely nothing at all. When emotions are running high, rationality goes out of the window so it's until you've stopped hyperventilating, crying or hurling things around the room, you're in no fit state to present the case for the defence; the only men you should be in contact with at this stage are Ben and Jerry!Advertisement - Continue Reading Below3

DON'T do anything after a bottle of wine

Nothing renders a woman more unattractive than slurring and stumbling after one too many glasses of wine. Even Kate Moss looks a shambles by the end of a big night out so drunk dialling a rendition of 'your song' or worse, turning up at his flat with your stilettos in your hand, mascara down your face and hair like Russell Brand and he is going to be more horrified than dreamy-eyed.4

DO understand what went wrong

You may feel utterly miserable without him but you wouldn't have broken up in the first place if there were no problems. Even if you can persuade him to give things another go, it will only last if you can resolve the issues you had in the first place. Make a list of possible reasons for the split, work out your own part in resolving those issues then ask him if he'd be willing to work on his own shortcomings.Advertisement - Continue Reading Below5

DON'T cry, beg or plead

Men don't respond well to over-emotional behaviour. The sight of a sobbing, hysterical woman is second only to a drunk, sobbing hysterical woman in his eyes and will have him retreating into his shell faster than a frightened tortoise. Plus, the fact that you can't live without him and want to throw yourself into the nearest canal is hardly the best basis for a relationship reconciliation.6

DO admit where you've gone wrong

If you don't want your reconciliation chat to turn into a slanging match, think carefully about your own part in the break-up. Are you absolutely sure that it was entirely down to his selfishness? Is it possible your moods affected his behaviour? Both parties must be committed to making a relationship work. If you're not ready to put in the work yourself history will just keep repeating itself.Advertisement - Continue Reading Below7

DON'T try to make him jealous

Letting him know that there are other guys happy to take over where he left off may drive him back into your arms. Jealousy is a powerful aphrodisiac. But while the thought of you with someone else might make him question what he is giving up these thoughts are driven by panic and fear. If he's going to get back with you it needs to be for positive reasons and a true belief that you two are meant for each other.8

DO let him know what he's missing out on

If you're meeting up to chat or you know you're going to be bumping into him, why not remind him of why he fell in love with you in the first place? Make an effort to look good just like you did in the early days of your relationship. Pus, if you look great you'll feel great which will help to remind him of the sassy chick he fell for before the rows kicked in and before you turned into a heartbroken wreck.Advertisement - Continue Reading Below9

DON'T bombard him

He will never have the same respect for you as his stalker as he did as his girlfriend. From turning up to his flat with tickets to his favourite gig or declaring your feelings on Facebook to packing up sandwiches, a flask and a pair of binoculars and settling in for a stake-out outside his flat, obsessive behaviour is more likely to get you a restraining order than a rekindled relationship. Slowly, slowly catchy monkey.10

DO know when to give up

When it comes to getting back together, no usually does mean no so don't make him have to tell you more than once. It will get more painful each time. Bow out gracefully, focus on spoiling yourself with some me time and having fun with the people in your life who love you unconditionally and before you know it he'll be forgotten. Of course, that's when he'll decide he wants to get back together!Advertisement - Continue Reading Below11

DON'T even bother...

... if the relationship wasn't making you happy in the first place. Even the most toxic boyfriends and serial cheaters can be hard to let go of once you've become attached. List the reasons things went wrong in the first place and ask yourself if you could live with those and ever be truly happy. Now take our quiz: Are you over your ex?Read Ways to get over your exSee Things that are best enjoyed singleWatch Next