The Top 3 Secrets To Achieving A Female Orgasm - Everyday Health

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SEE MOREThe Top 3 Secrets to Achieving a Female Orgasm

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ByAbby McCoy, RNUpdated on January 9, 2026Medically Reviewed byKara Smythe, MDWhether you’re with a trusted partner or going solo, trying for an orgasm can result in pleasure, discomfort, relief, or frustration. Up to 15 percent of women have never had an orgasm, and about 50 percent aren't satisfied with how often they reach orgasm.

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Orgasms can be elusive, and it’s sometimes tricky to pinpoint the exact combination of events that will get you there. However, enjoying better foreplay, trying different sexual positions, and experimenting with toys or erotica may allow you to have better orgasms and a stronger and more intimate connection with your partner.

1. Spend More Time on Foreplay

Foreplay refers to the intimate emotional and physical activities leading up to sex. Most women can't orgasm from vaginal penetration alone and need external stimulation to start the “desire” phase of the sexual-response cycle.

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During the desire phase, your heart rate becomes faster to increase blood flow to your genitals. Your also vagina begins to self-lubricate, and your clitoris may become erect.

Activities like flirting, kissing, grinding, or role-playing can help create sexual excitement and prepare you emotionally and physically for orgasm.

Some examples of ways to try foreplay are:

• Spark romance by surprising your partner with a flirtatious note or call, or with fresh flowers.
• Set the mood using candles or music to create a sensual atmosphere.
• Enjoy physical touch, such as caressing, hugging, and exploring sensitive areas of the body called erogenous zones.
• Create intimacy by talking, holding hands, kissing, or giving each other massages.
• Explore erotica, such as reading erotic literature or watching consensual adult entertainment.

It's important to remember that foreplay desires can vary, and communicating what works plays a big role in sexual satisfaction.

“Communication in the bedroom can foster intimacy, trust, and a sense of safety with one another," says Lisa Lawless, PhD, a sexual health expert and CEO of Holistic Wisdom in Bend, Oregon. "By using words that show appreciation, love, and desire, couples can significantly improve bonding, sexual intimacy, and feelings of satisfaction.”

Achieving Female Orgasm: Tips for Partners

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2. Know the ‘Sweet Spots’

Sweet spots, including your clitoris and G-spot, play an important role in female orgasm. Your clitoris is the most sensitive part of your vulva (the outer part of the female genitalia), and it's capable of producing the most intense and pleasurable sexual responses.

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 Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach climax.

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Clitoris

Your clitoris is sensitive to all types of touch, and the most pleasurable types vary from person to person. Experimenting with different types of touch can help you find the sensations that feel the best. These include contact using:

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• The tongue (oral sex)
• A sex toy, such as a vibrator
• Fingers

“Caressing and stimulating the labia can also be arousing due to pressure on internal clitoral tissue. Some women prefer stimulation here in addition to direct clitoral stimulation,” says Lyndsey Harper, MD, a sexual health expert and a clinical associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Texas A&M College of Medicine in Bryan, Texas.

G-Spot

Different types of vaginal penetration can also stimulate your clitoris through your vaginal wall. This is because your clitoral tissue extends inside your body, beyond the part you can see. There is a spongy tissue area known as the G-spot that can also increase arousal. You can find it by inserting a finger a few inches into your vagina and curling your finger toward your front vaginal wall.

“This area can be more arousing for some women due to normal anatomical differences. You can experiment and see if this area brings sexual pleasure through manual stimulation, sex toys, and penetrative sex positions that put pressure on the anterior vagina,” Dr. Harper says.

3. Try Female-Friendly Sexual Positions

The best sexual positions for female orgasms typically involve the clitoris. “Sex positions offering clitoral stimulation can be essential for achieving an orgasm during vaginal penetration,” Dr. Lawless says. These positions include:

• Woman on Top This position provides a good angle for stimulating the G-spot with the penis or a sex toy. Experimenting with movement in this position can also incorporate the clitoris.
• Sitting Sitting with the woman on top allows for both deep penetration and good clitoral stimulation.
• Missionary With a Twist Placing a pillow under the hips while in the missionary position can create a better angle for clitoral stimulation. “By shifting the angle, it helps the penetrative partner's pelvic bone to rub against the clitoris,” says Lawless.
• Spooning Spooning with the woman in front (little spoon) makes the clitoris easily accessible for touching and toys.

In any of these positions, use of sex toys such as vibrators or clitoral suction devices can help bring a woman to orgasm. “Sex toys allow couples to explore new ways of experiencing pleasure,” Lawless says.

For some, sexual positions may be limited due to pain, injury, or physical ability. In these cases, Lawless recommends using pillows to make positions more comfortable, allowing both partners to hold a position for longer.

Other Considerations

If you feel discouraged after trying for an orgasm without success, you can reach out to your healthcare provider for help. They may suggest working with a sex therapist or getting a health checkup to see if any conditions or medications are affecting your ability to reach orgasm.

“Many people believe that the ultimate goal of the sexual arousal cycle is to achieve an orgasm. While orgasms are pleasurable and healthy, they do not always need to be the end goal,” Lawless says. Wherever you are on your sexual journey can be rewarding and meaningful.

The Takeaway

• Prioritizing foreplay helps to enhance arousal and increase the likelihood of reaching an orgasm. Focus on activities that create emotional and physical intimacy, like kissing, touching, and role-playing.
• Incorporating highly sensitive zones, like the clitoris and G-spot, is often crucial to finding what feels best. The clitoris is particularly sensitive and is often the key to climax for many women.
• Experimenting with different sexual positions during sex can help you find the right kind of stimulation. Positions that allow for clitoral stimulation can significantly improve the orgasmic experience.
• If ongoing discomfort or issues with achieving orgasms persist, talk with a healthcare provider. They can determine whether a condition or medication may be affecting your sexual wellness, or they can refer you to a sex therapist for guidance.

EDITORIAL SOURCESEveryday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy. We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.SourcesResources

1. Orgasmic Dysfunction in Women. MedlinePlus. April 16, 2024.
2. Why Is Foreplay Important? Sexual Medicine Society of North America.
3. Clitoris. Cleveland Clinic. April 25, 2022.

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Kara Smythe, MD

Medical Reviewer

Kara Smythe, MD, has been working in sexual and reproductive health for over 10 years. Dr. Smythe is a board-certified fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and her interests include improving maternal health, ensuring access to contraception, and promoting sexual health.

She graduated magna cum laude from Florida International University with a bachelor's degree in biology and earned her medical degree from St. George’s University in Grenada. She completed her residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the SUNY Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, New York. She worked in Maine for six years, where she had the privilege of caring for an underserved population.Smythe is also passionate about the ways that public health policies shape individual health outcomes. She has a master’s degree in population health from University College London and recently completed a social science research methods master's degree at Cardiff University. She is currently working on her PhD in medical sociology. Her research examines people's experiences of accessing, using, and discontinuing long-acting reversible contraception. When she’s not working, Smythe enjoys dancing, photography, and spending time with her family and her cat, Finnegan.

See full bio

Abby McCoy, RN

Author

Abby McCoy is an experienced registered nurse who has worked with adults and pediatric patients encompassing trauma, orthopedics, home care, transplant, and case management. She is a married mother of four and loves the circus — that is her home! She has family all over the world, and loves to travel as much as possible.

McCoy has written for publications like Remedy Health Media, Sleepopolis, and Expectful. She is passionate about health education and loves using her experience and knowledge in her writing.

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