The Truth About BetterHelp Online Counseling - Heart My Backpack

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I’ve written a bit about losing a dear friend a few years ago, and how difficult it was to face that grief by myself in a new town. I remember feeling so alone in my sadness, and wanting to share my experience so that others struggling might feel less alone. Or at least, when I was my lowest I know I found a lot of comfort in hearing other people’s stories of dealing with difficult times.

But then I never really talked about the steps I took to feel happy again.

Several of my friends speak to therapists – in fact I think all but one of my close friends in the US have therapists – is this a very American thing? At any rate, after Rachel’s death they all encouraged me to find a professional to speak to, and one of my friends even discussed my situation with her own therapist to offer some tools to find comfort.

To be perfectly honest I was resistant to the idea of speaking to a counselor or therapist. It’s a troubling aspect of depression – when at my lowest I had no interest in helping myself. Plus, whom would I even speak to? Finding someone in Norway and then dragging myself to their office seemed… I mean frankly at the time it felt impossible.

If you listen to as many podcasts as I do, you might be having the same thought I had: what about trying BetterHelp?

It seems like BetterHelp advertises on every podcast I listen to, so I knew that they offer online counselling through video calls. But while I had heard a lot about them, none of the podcasters promoting them seemed actually to have used BetterHelp themselves, so I was skeptical. I hadn’t heard any specific BetterHelp complaints, but I also hadn’t heard any BetterHelp reviews from people who had actually used them.

I came up with all the excuses not to sign up for BetterHelp. Online therapy probably wasn’t actually even effective, I had read mixed BetterHelp reviews online (though any BetterHelp negative reviews had to do with their marketing strategy, no one’s actual personal experience with the platform), and it seemed like a luxury I didn’t actually need to dish out money on. I had friends I could talk to!

In the end the only reason I finally took the leap and signed up for BetterHelp was that I made a pact with a friend who also wanted to talk to a therapist and we signed up on the same day. So if you’re feeling intimidated, maybe sign up with a friend? As my friend said after we both matched with therapists, “accountability works.”

My personal BetterHelp review

Okay so I thought I’d share my own personal Better Help review to answer some of the questions and concerns I had when thinking about signing up. Also I know it would have helped to hear from someone actually using BetterHelp, so I could know if BetterHelp is legit and trustworthy and worth the money.

In fact since first starting BetterHelp I’ve convinced so many of my friends and family members to try it as well that now I feel like a bit of an expert on the platform.

The signup process itself is incredibly easy. BetterHelp takes you through a series of questions and at the end they match you with a therapist. I was surprised at how quickly I was matched with someone – I guess I had secretly been hoping the sign up process would be really complicated and I could put it off.

But that same day I had an email from my licensed therapist introducing herself, along with her license number and professional background. These can vary from therapist to therapist, so definitely double check that your assigned counselor has the licensing and experience level you’re looking for.

I’m embarrassed to say that it then took me a couple more weeks to respond, but as soon as I did Connie encouraged me to choose a session time from her calendar and we set up our first video call.

Connie lives in the US and I live in Norway, so there is a time difference. This simply means that we speak in the afternoons or evenings – usually 2 pm at the earliest and sometimes as late as 11 pm or midnight if I’m traveling and have a really busy day planned.

Most of the BetterHelp counselors do live in the US, but you can sign up for BetterHelp regardless of which country you’re in – just be aware of the time difference and of course that the BetterHelp counseling language is English (I think Spanish is also offered). If you are in Europe and matched with a therapist on the US West Coast you can always request one on the East Coast instead, so the time difference is smaller. Live video or phone sessions are conducted through the BetterHelp website, so you’ll need an Internet connection to make the call.

BetterHelp also offers voice calls and messaging, but I only really use the video call format, and then sometimes Connie will message me with a link I might find helpful or a book recommendation.

Oh and I was wondering if BetterHelp records calls, but the only recording from your conversations with your counselor is from the written texts (as they’re in writing), but Connie assured me that the phone calls are never recorded or shared with anyone else, phew.

I was nervous for our first session, but I kept reminding myself that if Connie and I didn’t click I could request a different therapist.

This was actually one of the big selling points for me with BetterHelp. I had always heard that it can be difficult to find a therapist you mesh with, and my friends said that I might need to shop around a bit at first. That would have been hard to do in my little town, whereas with BetterHelp I’d be able to simply log into my account and submit a request for a new counselor.

Update: A friend recently signed up for BetterHelp and requested to change therapists twice because the time slots they offered didn’t fit her schedule, and when she requested a new therapist for the second time they actually gave her a list of about six therapists whom she could choose from. So if you want a little more choice, you could always immediately request a change twice in a row, and then you can read the bios of the therapists offered to you and choose yourself.

I’d encourage you to shop around to find a therapist you really love – and I’ve heard that people have gotten the first week or two refunded when they’ve had calls with therapists that didn’t work out, so if you do switch it might be worth writing to BetterHelp customer service and requesting a refund for the “lost” week with the therapist that didn’t work out (I can’t promise it will work, but it has for several people I know).

Also I’ve heard that some therapists only offer one 30-minute call a week instead of 45 minutes, so if your therapist says they can only do a 30-minute call I would maybe switch therapists so you can get longer sessions. All three of the BetterHelp therapists I’ve had over the past three years have offered 45-minute sessions.

Within minutes of meeting Connie I felt at ease with her. In fact for the first time in months I felt truly comforted by talking to someone. I felt so immediately comfortable with her that afterwards I actually racked my brain trying to figure out if I had met her before – she just seemed so familiar somehow. Of course I hadn’t, but I think it was a sign that this was going to be a wonderful fit.

And in that first session I realized that talking to a therapist is totally different than talking to friends or family. I feel no judgement from Connie, but perhaps more importantly, I know so little about her life I can’t really judge her, or myself against her. That has freed me from feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and envy, which makes it a lot easier to accept what she tells me and use the tools she gives me.

For anyone wondering, we’re doing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on reframing the way I think about situations to more effectively respond to challenges.

After a few months of weekly one-hour sessions with Connie I realized that I had come back out of the darkness. I understand myself and my emotions better than I ever have, I’ve become more productive in my work, less stressed by social situations, and I even feel like I’ve become a better friend – at least I hope so!

I simply can’t recommend going to therapy enough. And yes, I realize it’s an expense not everyone can afford. But at this point I’d happily cut down my travel and even food budget for therapy. I’d probably even move into a cheaper apartment if that was the only way I could continue with my sessions. Is that crazy? I’ll have to ask Connie.

How much does BetterHelp cost?

As far as therapy goes though, BetterHelp is surprisingly affordable. BetterHelp costs $55 to $95 per week, and includes weekly one-hour calls along with unlimited voice and text messaging. Pricing depends on how long you sign up for – so it’s cheaper if you sign up for a three-month package instead of paying weekly or monthly:

• $95 for one week
• $320 for one month
• $715 for three months

I actually just realized when I looked up the fees right now that I was paying one month at a time and could save quite a bit by signing up for a long term package. So maybe make a note when you sign up to go back and reevaluate which package to choose later on. $320 per month seems like a good place to start though, as a month of weekly sessions should give you a good idea if this is something you want to continue with.

Update: I recently had four weeks when I couldn’t schedule a call with my therapist but I had already paid for the next three months, and I asked BetterHelp customer service if they could add a free four weeks to my account and they did! Seriously BetterHelp customer service so accommodating, I would definitely encourage you to contact them whenever you have a concern.

Sorry, it sounds like I’m trying to sell BetterHelp to you – I guess because I sort of am? Well, not BetterHelp specifically, but I’ve just had such a wonderful experience with therapy and truly believe that everyone can benefit so much from it. I wish I had done this much earlier, and I wish there was a way I could convince all my friends and family to try it out without sounding like I’m suggesting they are crazy and need help. We could all use help!

BetterHelp promo code

No, BetterHelp did not pay me to write this post. However I did reach out to them and ask if BetterHelp could offer a discount for you and they said yes! If you sign up for BetterHelp through this link then you’ll get two free weeks of BetterHelp. Maybe that’s the little incentive you need to try it out? I will also receive BetterHelp credits (to use for my own BetterHelp subscription) for any sign ups through my links – so it’s win for both of us!

Like I said before, it’s an American company so most therapists are in the US, but you can sign up from anywhere in the world, if you speak English (some also speak Spanish – I’m not sure about other languages). This also means that you can continue using BetterHelp if you’re traveling or if you move cities. BetterHelp also offers couples counselling.