Vanilla Relationship 雲呢拿關係

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Vanilla relationship

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“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky f**kery at all?” – Christian Grey from 50 Shades Darker

What is vanilla relationship?

The term is derived from “vanilla sex”. It refers to a form of consensual sexual activity bringing pleasure (Ferguson et al., 1984, p.107).

In a 2009 editoral published on Journal of Sexual and Relationship Therapy, David Ribner (2009) quoted that the term “vanilla derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic flavouring for ice cream, and, by extension, meaning plain or conventional’’.

The not-so implicit message here is the assumption that conventional sexual activity is either boring or merely non-enjoyable. The term “vanilla” is also seen as an insult to “to describe someone who is overly conventional, or unwilling to take risks, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts.”

It is thus Bondage & Discipline (B/ D), Dominance & Submission, (D/ S), Sadism & Masochism (S/M), aka BDSM, is seen as a form of adding supplementary flavour to “vanilla sex” and induce extra spark in couples relationship.

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