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What Are the Bases in a Relationship? Defining the Baseball-Sex Metaphor Download ArticleExplore this Article Sections 1 First Base 2 Second Base 3 Third Base 4 Home Base 5 Why are some people’s definitions of bases different? 6 Importance of Consent + Show 3 more... - Show less... Other Sections Questions & Answers Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Hannah Madden Reviewed by John Keegan
Last Updated: July 8, 2025 Fact Checked
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This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 1,253,453 times.
Has anyone ever asked you which “base” you got to with a date? While you probably assumed they weren’t talking about baseball, figuring out exactly what each base means might not be the most intuitive process in the world. Fortunately, you’re not alone—plenty of people want to know what the bases are in dating! That’s why we’ve written this article to define each base once and for all.
Things You Should Know
First base is kissing and making out, and second base is touching above the waist.
Third base is stimulating anywhere below the waist, and fourth base, or home base, is having sexual intercourse.
You may hear different definitions of each base depending on who you talk to. Since each base is made up, everyone has slightly different interpretations.
Always ask your date for consent before, during, and after any sexual activity.
Steps
Section 1 of 6:
First Base
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First base is kissing, making out, and French kissing. Anything you might do on a first or second date is usually included in first base. You might give your date a quick kiss on the lips, or you might have a full makeout session with tongue and all.[1]XResearch source
Advertisement Section 2 of 6:
Second Base
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Second base is any touching or petting above the waist. Second base is where things get a little handsy: you or your date might feel each other up above the waist, including touching the chest, breasts, or nipples.[2]X Trustworthy Source Go Ask AliceMedical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source Definitions vary slightly on whether this is over the shirt or under the shirt, but the general idea is the same.
Section 3 of 6:
Third Base
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Third base is touching or orally stimulating below the waist. It’s the closest you can get to having sex without having full-on intercourse. Usually, this involves stimulating each other below the waist, either with your fingers or with your mouths.[3]X Trustworthy Source Go Ask AliceMedical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source
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Home Base
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Home base, also called fourth base, is having sex. Home base is when you take things all the way home: it’s the furthest you can go with a partner.[4]X Trustworthy Source Go Ask AliceMedical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source You’ve most likely gone through every other base up until this one.
Section 5 of 6:
Why are some people’s definitions of bases different?
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People change the definitions based on what they’ve heard in the past. Since the “bases” are made up, you might hear a few different versions of each base and what they mean. The bases also might vary depending on how old you are, too.[5]X Trustworthy Source HelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source It’s important to remember that you don’t need to be focused on which “base” you can get to with your date—instead, pay attention to how much fun you’re having and the experience as a whole.
Some people have different definitions of each base, and that’s okay.
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Importance of Consent
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Always give and get consent before any sexual act. It doesn’t matter which base you’re going for: before you do anything, check in with your date to see how they’re feeling and if they want to continue. Take your own feelings into account, and feel free to ask your date to stop or slow down if you’re feeling uncomfortable.[6]XResearch source
It can feel a little awkward to pause in the middle of things and ask how your date is doing. Try asking something like, “Does that feel good?” or, “Do you want to keep going?” for a casual way to check in.
Or, if you’re the one who wants to take a breather, try something like, “Could we pause for a second?” or, “Just give me one second to catch my breath.”
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Question Are the bases different for gay or lesbian couples? Maddie Top Answerer Nope! The bases in a relationship are the same in gay/lesbian relationships as they are in straight relationships. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 33 Helpful 70
Question What is sexual intercourse? Community Answer The most common form of sexual intercourse consists of penetration of a vagina by an erect penis. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 84 Helpful 55
Question What do you do when they won’t stop and keep going even though you say we are going too far? Community Answer That is non-consensual sex and is not okay. Tell them to stop or pull away. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 4 Helpful 29
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Tips
Remember to enjoy the journey rather than the destination! Each base has its own joys. Be present every step of the way and allow the chemistry between the two of you to unfold naturally. Sex and intimacy is not a game of who finishes first or how fast you can get to "home base"—it's about connecting with yourself, the moment, and another person all at once.[7]X Expert Source John KeeganDating CoachExpert InterviewThanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 1
Make sure you’re ready to have sex before going all the way. If you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable or rushed, feel free to say no and back off a bit. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 1
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Reviewed by: John Keegan Dating Coach This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 1,253,453 times. 142 votes - 83% Co-authors: 6Updated: July 8, 2025 Views: 1,253,453 Categories: Relationships In other languages Dutch Thai Turkish Indonesian Italian German Spanish Czech Portuguese Japanese
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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Reviewed by: John Keegan Dating Coach Co-authors: 6Updated: July 8, 2025 Views: 1,253,45383% of readers found this article helpful. 142 votes - 83% Click a star to add your vote
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Download Article Explore this Article Sections 1 First Base 2 Second Base 3 Third Base 4 Home Base 5 Why are some people’s definitions of bases different? 6 Importance of Consent + Show 3 more... - Show less... Other Sections Questions & Answers Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Hannah Madden Reviewed by John Keegan 
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Reviewed by: John Keegan Dating Coach This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 1,253,453 times. 142 votes - 83% Co-authors: 6 Updated: July 8, 2025 Views: 1,253,453 Categories: Relationships In other languages Dutch Thai Turkish Indonesian Italian German Spanish Czech Portuguese Japanese 
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First base is kissing, making out, and French kissing. Anything you might do on a first or second date is usually included in first base. You might give your date a quick kiss on the lips, or you might have a full makeout session with tongue and all.[1] Advertisement 
Second base is any touching or petting above the waist. Second base is where things get a little handsy: you or your date might feel each other up above the waist, including touching the chest, breasts, or nipples.[2] Definitions vary slightly on whether this is over the shirt or under the shirt, but the general idea is the same. 
Third base is touching or orally stimulating below the waist. It’s the closest you can get to having sex without having full-on intercourse. Usually, this involves stimulating each other below the waist, either with your fingers or with your mouths.[3] Advertisement 
Home base, also called fourth base, is having sex. Home base is when you take things all the way home: it’s the furthest you can go with a partner.[4] You’ve most likely gone through every other base up until this one. 
People change the definitions based on what they’ve heard in the past. Since the “bases” are made up, you might hear a few different versions of each base and what they mean. The bases also might vary depending on how old you are, too.[5] It’s important to remember that you don’t need to be focused on which “base” you can get to with your date—instead, pay attention to how much fun you’re having and the experience as a whole. 
Always give and get consent before any sexual act. It doesn’t matter which base you’re going for: before you do anything, check in with your date to see how they’re feeling and if they want to continue. Take your own feelings into account, and feel free to ask your date to stop or slow down if you’re feeling uncomfortable.[6] 
Maddie Top Answerer Nope! The bases in a relationship are the same in gay/lesbian relationships as they are in straight relationships. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 33 Helpful 70 
Community Answer The most common form of sexual intercourse consists of penetration of a vagina by an erect penis. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 84 Helpful 55 
Community Answer That is non-consensual sex and is not okay. Tell them to stop or pull away. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 4 Helpful 29 
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