What Is A Golden Shower? Your Kinda-Safe-For-Work Guide

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Welcome to 2017! The search term “golden shower Trump” is trending.

And that’s exciting. It gives us an opportunity to teach the public about an oft-forgotten staple in the fetish scene. When it comes to sex, golden showers are like that last slice of pizza ― you don’t really need it for the survival of the species, but damn did it sate that obscene craving you had at 2 a.m.

First off, to the haters: Don’t get so pissed off. We know you’re into some deviant romping beyond the missionary position that involves all matter of ungodly bodily fluids. People are here trying to learn and you’re acting like a child.

Second, let’s acknowledge the news. BuzzFeed leaked a wholly unverified dossier claiming that Russian spies had compromising personal information on President-elect Donald Trump. One of the (again, unverified) allegations in the report details a 2013 incident in a hotel involving Trump, prostitutes and urine. We’d call it Watergate but that was already taken. #Goldengate it is.

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What is a golden shower?

At its most basic, the term “golden shower” ― also known as “urine play” or “water sports” ― is slang for a sex act involving urine. It’s the act of peeing on or around your partner(s), or getting peed on yourself! You do you.

It’s a fetish, more common in the dominant/submissive role-play scene. We wouldn’t even call it avant-garde anymore. (When Dave Chappelle spoofs something, it’s mainstream ― get it?) Hotel chains are actually pretty OK with it, too!

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The point is, golden showers aren’t the problem in this conversation, and a fetish shouldn’t be demonized simply for existing. What’s important is that you stay safe for any sex act, and that includes the classic golden shower.

Urine, like many bodily fluids, can transmit certain STDs or infections and is only “sterile” when a person is healthy, though it can contain bacteria, according to EmpowHER, an online sexual health resource. The site reports:

You also need to be careful when it comes to genital herpes, because an infected individual does not have to show any symptoms or open sores for transmission to occur. In fact, broken skin on the back, arms, or any place on the body may start to develop cold sores if infected.

That said, golden showers aren’t necessarily less safe than other sex acts (beyond the fact that it’s difficult to shield your entire body from, you know, a golden shower). So open those floodgates, but be safe out there, people.

In any case, let the history books show that Trump was never accused of getting a golden shower ― he was accused of watching urine play happen from across the room. But boy, are the “golden shower” and “golden shower Trump” search terms trending (red and blue, respectively):

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