What Is BPD Splitting? Signs, Effects & How To Cope

How to Stop & Cope With BPD Splitting

Coping with splitting is a challenging and intricate ordeal. Even though the process is difficult, it is the only way the person can achieve the wanted level of stability and peace.

Here are nine ways to cope with BPD splitting:5,6

1. Detect the BPD splitting: A person must begin by improving their self-monitoring abilities to notice when the splitting occurs. Noticing it makes a huge difference.
2. Manage your responses: Once the split is detected, the person should review their thoughts and feelings to weigh their options. Is this feeling or thought accurate and true, or are there some issues here?
3. Focus on your breathing: BPD splitting can trigger intense distress. Focusing on deep breathing allows you to self-soothe, so you can think more clearly instead of simply reacting emotionally.
4. Tap into your senses: Focusing on your five senses (what do I see, hear, smell, touch, and taste?) can stabilize your emotions by grounding you and giving you a chance to gain a different perspective.
5. Take a step back to gain perspective: Taking a step away is a good way to clear your mind and look at the situation with a fresh lens.
6. Practice empathy with yourself: Self-compassion is critical when dealing with these issues as they are challenging and you need to be able to support yourself through it.
7. Try keeping a journal: Writing is a great way to express yourself and easier to get out on paper than store in your mind and heart.
8. Focus on maintaining relationships: Having a supportive network of friends and family is important and keeping them is important for your overall well being.
9. Don’t forget to take care of yourself: Taking care of yourself may look different each day, but it is important to take the time to do so.

How to Help Someone Experiencing BPD Splitting

Loving and helping someone with BPD can feel like a trying experience where improvement seems impossible or unlikely. Work to maintain hope and positivity by using effective, positive skills.

Here are several ways to help someone with BPD splitting:

• Remind yourself of their condition: Reflect on their borderline personality disorder, not to make excuses for them, but to better understand their situation and struggles.
• Stay calm: When people split, it can suck you into strong and powerful reactions as well. Stay calm and even, rather than responding in dramatic ways yourself.
• Maintain boundaries: Boundaries are meant to safeguard your wellbeing and the relationship with the BPD person. It’s crucial to stick to these, and if lines are continuously crossed or abusive behavior emerges, it’s best to distance yourself.7
• Take a moment to respond: When your loved one is struggling, an encouraging response can show them that you are present and that you care.
• Show them that you care: Showing someone you care can look different for everyone, so learning what it is that would be helpful for them to feel in hard moments and helping to meet that need is a good way to show someone you care.
• Recognize when to leave: You can love and support someone with everything you have and it can still not feel enough, or worse, they may blame you. If you are finding that your time with that person is hurting you and/or them, it may be time to leave.
• Find your own therapist: Freely expressing your emotions in therapy can benefit you. It can also help you learn ways to support your BPD person and provide you with effective tools to respond healthily during these splitting episodes.7