What Is Considered Second Base In A Relationship? - Refinery29

Skip navigation!ADVERTISEMENTStory from SexADVERTISEMENTWhat Does Second Base Mean, Anyway?Erika W. SmithLast Updated December 13, 2019, 8:19 PM Photographed by Natalia Mantini.When we’re talking baseball as a metaphor for sex, most people agree that first base is making out. But what about second base? That’s where things get complicated, with various experts confidently asserting that “second base” is anywhere from an over-the-shirt boob grab to fingering and hand jobs.Sexual baseball metaphors date back to the post-WWII era, when dating as we know it began to coalesce. But to understand what “second base” means today, let’s go to the real experts: Urban Dictionary.The highest-rated Urban Dictionary definition describes second base as “when a guy feels up a female's breast over clothing, under clothing, or under the bra” (Heteronormative, much?). Next up: “Heavy petting and feeling up while making out, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners." Then, the confusion comes in: the most popular definition for “heavy petting” is “foreplay ranging from breast massage to masturbating one's partner.” That's a pretty wide range.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENTAnother Urban Dictionary definition for second base differentiates between “major league” second base and “minor league” second base: minor league is “feeling a girl up,” while major league is “fingering or a hand job.” Again, pretty big difference!Maybe it’s because of the confusion or the heteronormativity, but this sexual metaphor seems to be on its way out. Last year, a popular meme defined first base as sex, and then each succeeding base showed, as Know Your Meme puts it, “increasing levels of emotional intimacy.” For example, as @knifexparty put it, “First base: sex. Second base: actually hanging out again. Third base: seeing me cry. Fourth base: unconditional love & support.”

First base: sexSecond base: actually hanging out againThird base: seeing me cryFourth base: unconditional love & support

— last christmas by wham! (@knifexparty) July 17, 2018

Luckily, there’s no real reason you need to use baseball metaphors for sex when there are so many other words available. If your friend tells you, “I got to second base!” you can always answer with, “Ooh, you had a second date??” — or you can just ask what, exactly, they mean.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT RelationshipsI Use Romantasy Books As “Masturbation Material” — Is That Healthy?It’s 2 a.m. and the enemies in my new romantasy book have just turned into lovers — and it’s turning me on more than I expected. This is part of a faby Rebecca FearnOnline DatingReddit’s Dirtiest Pick-Up Lines Will Make You BlushWe’re all familiar with “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” and “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” But what about… diby Erika W. SmithWellness6 Signs You Just Had An OrgasmYou might have heard an orgasm described as a vaginal sneeze or called “la petite mort” — French for “the little death.” Others might describe orby Erika W. SmithAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTRelationshipsDating Is So Bleak, Even The Anxious Girlies Are Becoming AvoidantAre you anxious, avoidant or secure? What’s rarely discussed is whether people can switch from one camp to another. People wear their “anxious” labelby Tanyel MustafaSexThe Sexual Hygiene Habit You Should Never SkipThere are two rules that anyone having anal sex has hopefully heard before: First, always use lube; second, don’t go straight from anal sex to vaginaby Cory StiegBodyIf Your Vulva Is Tingling, This Might Be WhyDepending on the situation, your vulva can sometimes feel wet, itchy, burning, or swollen. Sometimes a new feeling in your vagina is the result of a healthby Erika W. SmithSex17 Steamy & Free Erotic Literature Sitesby Kasandra BrabawSexThe Kama Sutra Sex Positions You Didn’t Know Existedby Lux AlptraumSexWhat To Do When Doggy Style Sex Gets UncomfortableDoggy style is one of the most universally popular sex positions, at least according to both online surveys and Google search data. It requires no flexibilby Cory StiegRelationshipsWhat To Say If You Get Tongue-Tied During Phone Sexby Cory StiegSexOut Of Sexting Ideas? Try Theseby Kimberly TruongSex21 Steamy Erotic Stories Written By Women — & Why They’re Importantby Rachel Kramer BusselAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENT