What To Do If You're Thinking About Cheating - Thrillist

What to do when you're thinking about cheating

"Attraction is something that can be fed, or starved. So when we're attracted to someone with whom we shouldn't be in a sexual relationship, it's important for us to refuse to give room in our minds for focused thinking about them. Instead, we distract our minds and shift back to what is healthy and good sexually -- our spouse." -- Brandon Cox, pastor

"First,acknowledge the feeling to yourself. Knowledge is power. Second, plan your self-protection strategy: Minimize contact with that person. No conversations on personal subjects. No conversations in private places. If you work together, talk only about work. If the feelings get too strong, find a way to stop working together. And be especially careful to protect yourself when you travel. The biggest dangers are work colleagues and old flames." -- Dr. Susan Heitler, clinical psychologist

"One of the best ways for a guy to give his brain some novelty fun is buying a few different colored/styled wigs for your woman to wear. Maybe even [ask her to] change her voice and role-play. She can have a lot of fun being someone new and be the source of all your fantasy lovers. The brain loves novelty in sex." -- Eric Amaranth, sex life coach

"Remind yourself that seeking immediate gratification from sexual flings often leads to unhappiness in the end. And give yourself permission to fantasize about others." -- Dr. Seth Meyers, psychologist

On whether or not people are "wired for monogamy"

"Most yes, some no. Like voles. Most voles are wired for monogamy. Others don't pair bond. Researchers have pinpointed a genetic difference in the voles. Most humans want a reliable, loving companion who will be a trusted and gratifying partner throughout life. At the same time, long-term relationships and marriage take high-level skills. If you don't have them, get them." -- Dr. Susan Heitler, clinical psychologist

"The problem with the word 'wired' is that it implies that there's a way we are and we can't do anything about it -- that's just how it is. But the extraordinary thing about human beings is that we have been evolving, transforming, and continually raising the bar on what is possible for literally thousand of years. The idea that you can give yourself to one person in an exclusive and singular way is a rather enlightened, sophisticated idea -- it raises fascinating questions about just what we're capable of.'" -- Rob Bell, pastor

"In my clinical work, I find that many men and women aren't meant to be monogamous, but try to do it anyhow, and later cheat or resent their partners because they don't like being monogamous." -- Dr. Seth Meyers, psychologist

"I've read Sex at Dawn and some of that research. I think it's hard to answer. It's an incredibly difficult task to take on, and one that a lot of people simply aren't capable of doing. But I don't know if I'd feel comfortable going so far as to say that we're not physically wired for it." -- Vanessa Marin, sex therapist

These quotes have been edited and condensed.

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Lee Bresloueris a senior writer at Thrillist and is wired to watch a lot of TV. Follow him to positive life choices at: @LeeBreslouer.