What You Should Know About Attention-Seeking Behavior In Adults

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What You Should Know About Attention-Seeking Behavior in Adults

Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — Written by Scott Frothingham on February 28, 2020

Examples
Common causes
What to do
Takeaway

For adults, attention-seeking behavior is a conscious or unconscious attempt to become the center of attention, sometimes to gain validation or admiration. It may be driven by jealousy or loneliness.

What it may look like

Attention-seeking behavior can include saying or doing something with the goal of getting the attention of a person or a group of people.

Examples of this behavior include:

fishing for compliments by pointing out achievements and seeking validation
being controversial to provoke a reaction
exaggerating and embellishing stories to gain praise or sympathy
pretending to be unable to do something so someone will teach, help, or watch the attempt to do it

What can cause this behavior?

Attention-seeking behavior may be driven by:

jealousy
low self-esteem
loneliness

Sometimes attention-seeking behavior is the result of cluster B personality disorders, such as:

histrionic personality disorder
borderline personality disorder
narcissistic personality disorder

Jealousy

Jealousy may come about when someone feels threatened by another person currently getting all the attention.

This, in turn, can lead to attention-seeking behavior to change the focus.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem is a broad term covering a variety of complex mental states involving how you view yourself.

When some people believe that they’re being overlooked, bringing back the lost attention is may feel like the only way to restore their balance.

The attention that they get from this behavior may help provide them with the feeling of reassurance that they are worthy.

Loneliness

According to the Health Resources and Services Administration, 1 in 5 Americans say they feel lonely or socially isolated.

Loneliness can result in an urge to seek attention, even in people who don’t normally exhibit attention-seeking behavior.

Histrionic personality disorder

According to the National Library of Medicine, histrionic personality disorder is characterized by feeling underappreciated when not the center of attention.

For someone to receive a diagnosis of histrionic personality disorder, they need to meet at least 5 of the following criteria:

uncomfortable when not the center of attention
provocative or seductive behavior
shallow and shifting emotions
using appearance to draw attention
vague or impressionistic speech
exaggerated or dramatic emotions
is suggestible
treating relationships as more intimate than they are

Borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder is a continuing pattern of instability in self-image, interpersonal relationships, emotion, and impulsivity.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, for someone to receive a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, they need to display at least 5 of the following criteria:

frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
a pattern of intense and unstable interpersonal relationships with extremes between devaluation and idealization
a decidedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
engaging in potentially self-damaging, impulsive behavior
recurring self-harm or suicidal behavior, including threats or gestures
emotionally instability in daily reactions, such as through irritability, anxiety, or intense sadness
chronic feelings of emptiness
inappropriately intense anger that’s often difficult to control
transient, stress-related paranoia or disassociation

Narcissistic personality disorder

Those with narcissistic personality disorder typically have a need for admiration with a lack of empathy.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, for someone to receive a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, they need to display at least 5 of the following criteria:

a grandiose sense of self-importance
a preoccupation with fantasies of power, unlimited success, brilliance, ideal love, beauty
a belief in their own uniqueness, especially that they should only associate with, and will only be understood by, high-status institutions and high-status people
demand for excessive admiration
a sense of entitlement and unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations
taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends
unwillingness to identify with or recognize the needs and feelings of others
envy of others and belief that others are envious of them
haughty, arrogant attitudes or behaviors

What you can do about it

If you notice this behavior is constantly recurring, it’s probably best for the person display the behavior to visit an experienced mental health professional.

If left unchecked, attention-seeking behavior can often become manipulative or otherwise harmful.

The bottom line

Attention-seeking behavior may stem from jealousy, low self-esteem, loneliness, or as a result of a personality disorder.

If you notice this behavior in you or someone else, a mental health professional can provide diagnosis and treatment options.

How we reviewed this article:

SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Bailey JA. (2003). The foundation of self-esteem.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2594522/
Borderline personality disorder. (2017). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml
DSM-IV and DSM-5 criteria for the personality disorders. (2012).https://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/philo/courses/materials/Narc.Pers.DSM.pdf
Erzen E, et al. (2018). The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis. DOI:https://doi.org/10.1177/0020764018776349
French JH, et al. (2019). Histrionic personality disorder. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK542325/
Huelsnitz CO, et al. (2018). Attachment and jealousy: Understanding the dynamic experience of jealousy using the response escalation paradigm.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29771201
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Personality disorders. (n.d.).https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/personality-disorders
Ramachandran VS, et al. (2017). The evolutionary psychology of envy and jealousy. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5609545/
Singer C. (2018). Health effects of social isolation and loneliness. https://www.aginglifecarejournal.org/health-effects-of-social-isolation-and-loneliness/
Yanguas J, et al. (2018). The complexity of loneliness. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6179015/

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Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — Written by Scott Frothingham on February 28, 2020

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