When Do Guys Start To Miss You After A Breakup?

Updated on April 18, 2022

If you’re wondering “when do guys start to miss you after a breakup,” I may have the answer you’re looking for. I’ve been studying guys’ post-breakup behavior for a while now and noticed the patterns guys tend to repeat. But before we talk about that, you need to know that the patterns guys repeat aren’t much different from the patterns women repeat.

Both women and men come back because they’re unhappy, sad, and miserable and need their ex to validate their importance and heal their wounds. But the most notable difference is that women tend to come back for security a bit more often than men and that they normally think of their recent ex as their only option rather than just one of the options.

Guys normally become nostalgic and start missing you when they understand they no longer have the support they used to get from you and that they can’t handle their issues and stressors without you.

That’s when they reach out to you, apologize, and try to lean on you for love and support.

So if you’re curious about when guys start to miss you after a breakup, don’t think that your ex will miss you and return to you just because you’re a good person. Your ex will come back only if he fails to find happiness or fails to stay happy without you.

This article will explain what guys need to start missing you and wanting to be with you.

How long does it take for a guy to miss you after a breakup?

If want to know when guys start to miss you after a breakup, you need to start by understanding that it takes some guys weeks and others months or years to miss you. No two guys are alike, which is why there’s no simple answer.

But from my observations, there are 3 types of dumpers that miss you quicker than others.

The first type is the depressed type. This dumper is extremely unhappy with himself and often comes back as soon as he realizes he doesn’t have the emotional strength to handle the things life throws at him.

He comes back a week or two after he’s become depressed because that’s when he realizes that he was happier with his ex and that he needs to get back with his ex before she moves on. But when he notices that his relationship isn’t making him internally happy, this person usually leaves again. He doesn’t have a good reason to stay because he comes back to help himself deal with depression rather than to invest in you and the relationship.

The second type of guy dumper who misses his ex is the indecisive type. This is the guy who doesn’t know what he wants and who he wants a relationship with. All he knows is that he likes his dumpee for who she is, but that he can’t commit to her because he wants to see what else is out there.

To him, it’s not about working on the relationship, but rather about finding the right person from the get-go. He isn’t in love with the dumpee enough for love to blossom. He’s just keeping her around as a backup option, which is why he usually dates others for a while until he realizes that new people aren’t any better than his long-term ex.

That’s when he comes crying back, saying he’s sorry and, professing his undying love and commitment to the dumpee.

The 3rd and last type of dumper who misses the dumpee the most is the insecure type. This dumper comes back when he fails to make other women like him and want to be with him. He’s so afraid that someone else will take his ex’s spot that he comes running back to his ex and tries to extort validation out of her.

He just can’t risk losing her because he can’t find a healthy relationship and a person who loves him.

Guys start missing you when you stop missing them

Guys who don’t come back after a month or two need a lot more time to miss you. How much time they need nobody knows. But they probably need so much time that you stop missing them and no longer care about them romantically.

When you stop caring about them, you start caring about yourself. And that’s what makes you extremely attractive and increases their respect and cravings for you.

You must remember that dumpers are usually completely over you when they break up with you and need a reason to miss you.

This reason can be:

• getting involved with someone incompatible
• poor emotional/physical health
• losing friends and family
• financial issues
• losing a job
• romantic rejections
• anything that hurts them

Guys start to miss you after a breakup when they’re having a hard time finding happiness without you. The more pain and suffering they go through, the more they think back to when they didn’t feel so lost and miserable.

And that’s when they finally admit that they miss you—and expect you to soothe their anxiety and give them reassurance. Of course, they may not necessarily want you back the moment they miss you, but they could breadcrumb you, confuse you, and secretly rely on you for various things, including boredom, stress, guilt management, and recognition.

If you want to make your ex miss you, you have to be patient. You have to stay in indefinite no contact and not worry about what your ex is thinking and doing. Your life is no longer about your ex. It’s about you now and those who love you.

When your ex sees you value yourself your ex could notice that you don’t care about him and wonder why you don’t care. This could make your ex curious and perhaps even nostalgic. You need to wait regardless of what effect no contact has or doesn’t have on your ex.

Do all guys miss you during no contact?

Guys who have their lives figured out and don’t rely on their romantic partners and external happiness for validation probably won’t miss you during no contact. They are secure, have plenty of dating options, or don’t think fondly of you, so you’ll likely hear from them only when they’re bored, lonely, or want you for a booty call.

It’s crucial for you to understand that emotionally strong and independent guys don’t miss their dumpees. At least not as much as you’d like them to because they’re living the kind of life they’ve always dreamed of living. Such guys are much more likely to focus on themselves and the people they deem as important—and do whatever makes them happy.

As a dumpee, that’s what you must do as well. You must set some new priorities and seek internal happiness within yourself so that you can slowly forget about your ex and fall back in love with yourself.

If you don’t get over your ex, your ex won’t respect you much if at all. He’ll see that you’re still dependent on him for recognition and that getting back together with you would drain his energy and waste his time.

How to make guys miss you?

You probably already know that the indefinite no contact rule is the only way to make your ex miss you. It’s the only rule that’s effective because it gives your ex plenty of space and time to remember you and think about you. Of course, thinking doesn’t necessarily make his feelings come back, but it does let him process the suffocation and/or anger and allow him to run into issues.

It’s the issues or rather, the bad post-breakup experiences that could help him miss you the way you want him to miss you (romantically). That’s because he could see for himself that dumping you didn’t make his life any better. It just made him swap some problems for new ones.

Provided that your ex is somewhat mature and understands his emotions, the no contact rule could help him see that you value yourself more than him and pique his interest.

And if it piques his interest, he could start to admire your:

• emotional intelligence
• emotional strength
• confidence and high self-esteem
• independence
• respectful behavior
• priorities

There’s no better way to make your ex miss you than to respect yourself more than you respect your ex. So start respecting yourself right away. Spend time with your friends and family and leave your ex alone. He’ll message or call you if things don’t go well for him.

That’s because he’ll remember that he used to rely on you when he needed your help the most.

My ex says he doesn’t miss me

Some guys will blatantly tell you they don’t miss you so that you stay away from them and stop smothering them.

If your ex said this, you have a great opportunity to distance yourself from your ex and show him you don’t need him to miss you. You have people in your life who love you and care about you and give you everything you need. So spend your time with them. Don’t waste any more time on the guy who left you and doesn’t miss you. Talking to a guy like that is only going to make you feel worse.

It’s going to make you crave him more and open your breakup wounds.

So start following the rules of no contact right away and stay true to them at all costs. Don’t even check up on your ex online. You don’t need to know if he’s dating someone else already and having a great time with her. All you need to know is that he’s going through the stages of a breakup for the dumper and that he’s not the kind of guy who understands or cares about what you’re going through.

He’s perfectly happy reacting negatively to your behavior or presence because that way, he can quickly get you off his back and focus on his own life. I suppose him telling the truth was better than lying to you. But that doesn’t give him the right to say hurtful things.

He should still handle the breakup maturely and empathetically.

The best thing you can do about a guy who doesn’t miss you is to disappear from his life completely. It won’t guarantee that he’ll see you in a better light and miss the good times, but it will help you stop seeking approval from him and allow you to detach.

And that’s the most important thing that can happen to you because as long as you depend on your ex, it will be hard for your ex to miss you and respect you. Always remember that respect is earned and that dumpees who don’t respect themselves don’t make their exes miss them.

More often than not, they make dumpers pity them and want nothing to do with them.

So why not focus on the things you can control and prioritize healing from the breakup? If your ex changes his mind about you and starts feeling something/anything for you in the future, rest assured that you’ll hear from him.

Your ex will tell you everything he wants you to know and you won’t even have to say or do anything. You won’t have to sit around and wait for him to miss you while you miss him like crazy. That would be a big waste of time. You just need to focus on feeling better and enjoying your life.

My ex is too stubborn to contact me!

This is something I hear all the time, so it’s time we get to the bottom of it.

Although a lot of dumpers are more stubborn than a mule, you need to know that stubbornness is not something you should be concerned about. Stubbornness doesn’t prevent dumpers from reaching out because breakups aren’t about egos and pride.

They’re about lost feelings, resentments, and wanting to be alone. Dumpers have to process negative breakup emotions and redevelop curiosity and feelings before they can contact their exes.

But if you’re absolutely sure that your ex is extremely stubborn and won’t contact you because of it, then here’s a question from me to you.

Why did you date someone so stubborn, aka emotion-driven and closed-minded?

Surely you weren’t very happy in a relationship with your ex because you couldn’t compromise with him. You were stuck growth-wise and probably felt frustrated, angry, or depressed more than you’re willing to admit.

“Yeah, but I loved him despite his flaws,” you might be thinking.

Although he was probably lucky to have an accepting partner such as yourself, I’d be lying if I said you were lucky to have him too. You most definitely weren’t happy serving this person’s needs and you certainly won’t be happy if he comes back. That’s because you’ll get the same old behavioral patterns and issues as last time.

And that’s not worth it.

I bet that if you wait a few months to detach and see things more clearly that you won’t want your ex back anymore. You’ll realize that you had put up with too many shortcomings and that you need to raise your standards so that your next relationship can be better and stronger.

What if my ex never misses me?

If your ex never misses you after the breakup, know that it’s okay! You may not think it’s okay right now because you’re hurting and badly need your ex to feel better, but you won’t always feel this way. One day (relatively soon), you’ll start feeling stronger and more secure and see that the world doesn’t revolve around your ex.

Eventually, you’ll realize that you don’t need your ex to be happy. You just need to get over him and improve your confidence and self-esteem. It will take some time to rebuild these things, of course, but when you do, you’ll realize that you wasted your time waiting for your ex.

That’s when you’ll immediately stop thinking about your ex and understand that your life is all that matters. It always mattered more than your ex, but you weren’t able to see it because your ex had more power while he was with you or gained more power by breaking up with you.

Whatever the case may be, once you get to the point where you no longer miss your ex, you won’t even care if your ex misses you. You’ll be happy without your ex because you’ll know that you don’t need a relationship to fulfill you and that you’ve already got everything you need to be happy. You have yourself and those who supported you after the breakup.

So don’t worry about whether your ex misses you right now. His recognition may be important to you right now because you feel rejected and hurt, but once you’ve healed, it won’t even cross your mind. You’ll have better things to worry about.

I suggest that you focus on healing so you can stop thinking about what your ex can do for you and start thinking about what you can do for yourself.

Did you enjoy reading this article? Did it answer the question of when do guys start to miss you after a breakup? Are you curious about when your ex will start thinking fondly of you? Comment below and let me know.

And if you’d like to talk to us about guys missing their exes, go to our coaching page to learn about our coaching services.

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.

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