PRO Courses Hot Guides Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade
QUIZZES All Quizzes Hot Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Trivia Quizzes Taylor Swift Quizzes
EDIT Edit this Article
EXPLORE Tech Help ProAbout UsRandom ArticleQuizzes Request a New ArticleCommunity DashboardTrendingForums Arts and EntertainmentArtworkBooksMoviesComputers and ElectronicsComputersPhone SkillsTechnology HacksHealthMen's HealthMental HealthWomen's HealthRelationshipsDatingLoveRelationship Issues Hobbies and CraftsCraftsDrawingGamesEducation & CommunicationCommunication SkillsPersonal DevelopmentStudyingPersonal Care and StyleFashionHair CarePersonal Hygiene Quizzes Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Fun Games Arts and EntertainmentFinance and BusinessHome and GardenRelationship Quizzes Cars & Other VehiclesFood and EntertainingPersonal Care and StyleSports and Fitness Computers and ElectronicsHealthPets and AnimalsTravel Education & CommunicationHobbies and CraftsPhilosophy and ReligionWork World Family LifeHolidays and TraditionsRelationshipsYouth
LOG IN
Log in
Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. FacebookGooglewikiHow Account No account yet? Create an account
RANDOM
Home
Random
Browse Articles
TrendingNew
Quizzes & Games
All QuizzesHot
Love Quizzes
Personality Quizzes
Fun Games
Dating Simulator
Learn Something New
Forums
Courses
Happiness Hub
Explore More
Support wikiHow
About wikiHow
Log in / Sign up
Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow
Categories
Relationships
Dating
Who Should Pay on a Date? Modern Rules for Date Etiquette Download ArticleExplore this Article Sections 1 Paying for a Date: What the Experts Say 2 Are men always expected to pay for dates? 3 Is asking to split the bill rude? 4 Who pays for the date in a queer relationship? + Show 1 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Related Articles References Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Hannah Madden
Last Updated: June 17, 2024 Fact Checked
Download Article ARTICLE VIDEO X
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 125,286 times.
When the bill arrives at your table, do you reach for it automatically, or do you wait for your date to make the first move? Figuring out who’s going to pay on a date can be tough, but with a few guidelines in mind, you can dodge any awkward moments. Read this article to learn everything you need to know about paying for the first date and beyond.
Steps
Section 1 of 4:
Paying for a Date: What the Experts Say
Download Article
1 Whoever asks for the date should pay the bill. If you’re the one who invited your date out, it’s polite to cover both of your meals. On the flip side, if your date set up your dinner plans, they’ll probably be the one to pay for everything.[1]XResearch source
If you don’t plan on paying for the bill, it’s still polite to reach for your wallet whenever the check comes. Your date will probably insist that they’ve got it, and you can thank them for taking you out.
Is your date insisting that you split it, even though you want to pay? Avoid the awkwardness by saying something like, “I’ll get this one, and you can get the next one.”
If you're having a hard time accepting that your date wants to pay for everything, try to think about this in another way: remember that this is their way to show that they want to take care of you. Try to learn how to receive this gift.[2]X Expert Source Lisa ShieldDating CoachExpert Interview
2 After the first date, you two can split the bill. When things start to get a little more serious, both partners can share the weight of paying for a night out. The second, third, and fourth dates can all be a dual effort. If you two end up in a serious relationship, you can talk about who’s going to pay and when to split the bill whenever the time comes.[3]XResearch source
If you want to bring up who’s going to pay before you go out, say something like, “Since I got our last date, would you mind paying for this one?”
Advertisement Section 2 of 4:
Are men always expected to pay for dates?
Download Article
In modern dating, men aren’t expected to pay for every date. That’s a pretty antiquated tradition, and it’s fallen out of fashion in the past few decades. In fact, having the man pay for all of the dates can set a relationship up for failure—eventually, the guy in the relationship might feel like he’s being used or taken advantage of, which can cause resentment.[4]XResearch source
Having one partner consistently pay the bill can also create a weird power imbalance. The person being paid for might feel like they “owe” their partner, which isn’t a healthy set up.[5]XResearch source
Section 3 of 4:
Is asking to split the bill rude?
Download Article
No, asking your date to go dutch isn’t rude. However if you’re on a first date and you’re the one who made the plans, it can be a bit of a turnoff if you aren’t prepared to pay. If you’re the one who invited someone else out, make your plans for a spot that you can afford—that way, you can treat your date and make a great first impression.[6]XResearch source
If you do need to split the bill, just ask your date outright. That way, there are no awkward pauses as you and your date figure out who’s paying.
Say something like, “Hey, would you mind if we split this?” or, “Could we go dutch on this one?”
Advertisement Section 4 of 4:
Who pays for the date in a queer relationship?
Download Article
Whoever asks the other person out usually pays. Try to stick to the “whoever asks” rule—if you picked the location, you can pay for the date.[7]XResearch source Splitting the bill is also a valid option, especially if you and your date both insist on paying.
Expert Q&A
Search Add New Question Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement
Video
Tips
Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
You Might Also Like
Going Dutch on a Date: Meaning, Etiquette, and MoreA Complete List of Dating RulesHow toAct when Your Boyfriend Keeps Paying for EverythingHow toBe a Good Date10+ Chivalrous Ways to Charm Her on a DateHow to Finish a First Date15 Expert-Approved First Date TipsWho Should Initiate the Third Date?How toAct on a Date (for Boys)How toHave a Successful First Date at the Movies (Guys)How toBe Romantic on Your First DateHow toImpress a Girl on a DateHow toDate in Middle SchoolHow to Act & What to Do on a Movie Date Advertisement
Co-authored by: Lisa Shield Dating Coach This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 125,286 times. 1 votes - 100% Co-authors: 19Updated: June 17, 2024 Views: 125,286 Categories: Dating In other languages Portuguese Indonesian Japanese Dutch Spanish French
Print
Send fan mail to authors
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 125,286 times.
Did this article help you?
Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Lisa Shield Dating Coach Co-authors: 19Updated: June 17, 2024 Views: 125,286100% of readers found this article helpful. 1 votes - 100% Click a star to add your vote
Quizzes & Games
How Chivalrous Am I in Romantic Relationships QuizTake QuizPrincess Treatment vs Bare Minimum QuizTake QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizShould I Text Him or Not QuizTake QuizDating SimulatorPlayWhat Love Character Am I QuizTake Quiz
You Might Also Like
Going Dutch on a Date: Meaning, Etiquette, and MoreA Complete List of Dating RulesHow toAct when Your Boyfriend Keeps Paying for EverythingHow toBe a Good Date
Featured Articles
How toMake a Paper AirplaneHow toLearn Morse CodeHow toFold an Origami Star (Shuriken)How to Fold and Use a Paper Fortune Teller
Trending Articles
Sub 5 to True Adam Chart: Looksmaxxing Tiers ExplainedSigns a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You28 Best Excuses for Getting Out of SchoolHow to Practice Thumb Pulling (And If You Should)What Female Body Shape Are You? How to Identify YoursDo You Agree with These "Hear Me Out" Character Hot Takes?
Featured Articles
What Animal Am I QuizAm I Gay QuizHow Well Do I Know My Best Friend QuizAm I an Alpha, Beta, or Omega Quiz
Featured Articles
160+ Good Roasts to Burn Your Friends & Family MembersHow to Play the Snaps Guessing Game140+ Wavelength Game Categories & Questions to Extend Your PlayThe Ultimate Collection of Funny, Cheesy, & Romantic Rizz LinesVirtual Truth or Dare Questions to Keep Things Interesting180 Good Comebacks & Savage Roasts to Win Any Argument
Watch Articles
How toEat GuavaHow to Get Yellow Stains Out of White ShoesLeft Eye Twitching for Females: What Astrology Says About Eye Twitching50 First Date Conversation Starters to Spark a ConnectionHow to Make a Mask Out of Paper (for Kids or Adults)How to Put Jibbitz on Crocs
Trending Articles
Finish the Lyrics QuizCan Your Finger Length Tell Your Personality?Psychopath TestWhat Fruit Am I QuizDo I Have Main Character Energy?What Kind of Cat Am I Quiz
Quizzes & Games
Which Dating App Should I Use QuizTake QuizWhat's My Dating Style?Take QuizWho Is My Perfect Boyfriend?Take QuizShould You Bring a Gift? Find Out!When Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizTake QuizWill I Ever Find Love QuizTake Quiz
Categories
Relationships
Dating
wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.
Download Article Explore this Article Sections 1 Paying for a Date: What the Experts Say 2 Are men always expected to pay for dates? 3 Is asking to split the bill rude? 4 Who pays for the date in a queer relationship? + Show 1 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Related Articles References Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Hannah Madden 
Advertisement 
Co-authored by: Lisa Shield Dating Coach This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 125,286 times. 1 votes - 100% Co-authors: 19 Updated: June 17, 2024 Views: 125,286 Categories: Dating In other languages Portuguese Indonesian Japanese Dutch Spanish French 
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Play
Take Quiz 
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Take Quiz
Take Quiz 
528 
1 Whoever asks for the date should pay the bill. If you’re the one who invited your date out, it’s polite to cover both of your meals. On the flip side, if your date set up your dinner plans, they’ll probably be the one to pay for everything.[1] 
2 After the first date, you two can split the bill. When things start to get a little more serious, both partners can share the weight of paying for a night out. The second, third, and fourth dates can all be a dual effort. If you two end up in a serious relationship, you can talk about who’s going to pay and when to split the bill whenever the time comes.[3] 
In modern dating, men aren’t expected to pay for every date. That’s a pretty antiquated tradition, and it’s fallen out of fashion in the past few decades. In fact, having the man pay for all of the dates can set a relationship up for failure—eventually, the guy in the relationship might feel like he’s being used or taken advantage of, which can cause resentment.[4] 
No, asking your date to go dutch isn’t rude. However if you’re on a first date and you’re the one who made the plans, it can be a bit of a turnoff if you aren’t prepared to pay. If you’re the one who invited someone else out, make your plans for a spot that you can afford—that way, you can treat your date and make a great first impression.[6] 
Whoever asks the other person out usually pays. Try to stick to the “whoever asks” rule—if you picked the location, you can pay for the date.[7] Splitting the bill is also a valid option, especially if you and your date both insist on paying.