Why Autism Acceptance Is As Important As Autism Awareness

Today is Autism Awareness Day and that is nice—I hope. Personally, I think it is overall a good, positive, and well-meaning event; but if I am honest, as an autistic person, I think it is weird.

But then, that's what being autistic is to me. An autistic person finding a day in honour of their “condition” odd is by virtue fitting and affirmative of my ASD credentials. Finding the world weird, mad, and strange is my reality; seeing things from a different perspective is my life; and critiquing social narratives is my modus operandi.

I am a deeply loving person and I am also a bit of an anomaly in the autism world as I have lots of friends (we are often told we struggle to make friends; the opposite is true for me) but I disagree with almost everything everyone says about almost every topic. I see the world in a completely different way. I love how I see the world but I also feel like an alien who has accidentally been put on the wrong, “stupid” planet.

It isn't easy being like this, but I enjoy my world; it’s just a shame I think everyone else is nuts. The feeling often goes both ways, but I am lucky to have lots of acceptance and love; this allows me to thrive.

In the right place, my autistic traits can be valuable, exceptional, and demonstrative of brilliant, out-of-the-box thinking. In the wrong place, they are exhausting, irritating, infuriating, and potentially dangerous to me (I have been bullied and harassed horrifically).

The point worth considering, in my view, is that being who I am freely and happily depends largely on how I am treated by those I come into contact with. This is what I want the reader of this blog to consider—this is what I want to raise awareness around on this Autism Awareness Day. The main issue affecting autistics and our lives, in my opinion, concerns acceptance and support of us by those around us. We are at the mercy of other people and we are vulnerable. We need awareness to lead to acceptance; we need to have spaces that bend to meet us, as opposed to try and break us to fit—we can’t fit, because we weren’t born to fit.

“Do not fear people with autism, embrace them. Do not spite people with autism, unite them. Do not deny people with autism, accept them. For then their abilities will shine.” —Paul Isaacs

I am autistic, but I find that many articles and papers that are written about autism simply don’t relate to me or reflect my experiences. Much of the writing centres on male experiences and male perspectives and are not relevant to my life and how my neurology has impacted me.

The truth is that while many discussions centre around a lack of empathy or lack of emotions, my autism is directly linked to an abundance of empathy, an abundance of emotion, and an abundance of care. I have been told I care "too much," that I am "too honest," "too kind," and take things "too literally." This is how I am disabled in society—the abundance of these qualities, not the lack of them.

That is where this condition is often misunderstood. It covers lack and abundance, it is over and under, it is more and less. The common theme is it reflects those who are different.

“Many people accuse me of 'not looking autistic.' I have no idea what that means. I know lots of ‘autistics’ and we all look different. We are not some recognisable breed. We are human beings. If we’re not out of the ordinary, it’s because we’re fighting to hide our real selves.” —Dara McAnulty

THE BASICS

• What Is Autism?
• Take our Autism Test
• Find a therapist to help with autism

Take a moment to reflect on a society that identifies an abundance of honesty, kindness, and caring as impairments and values that are disabling. That is my autism—that is my weight to bear in a generally uncaring and unkind world that often rewards cruelty, dishonesty, and immorality. That is the reality of my life and my disability—I am impaired by a society that expects dishonesty, that demands insensitivity, and celebrates cold, hard decision-making often in return for cold, hard cash. I make decisions based on how things feel and what is important to me. I am motivated by morals, integrity, and doing things that I think are meaningful and important. If I think it is wrong, I can’t do it, I can’t support it, and often I can’t keep quiet about it; this is both my disability and my superpower. This is what I love about being me, but what seems to terrify some people who are not like me.

In a world that is confusing, complicated, and terrifying for many with autism, what I have noticed is the only feature that connects all of us is non-conformity—deviation from the “norm.” I became a therapist to help people; I went to therapy, and still do, to help myself.

The future is bright, the future is neurodiverse. My Lucia. Source: Louise Taylor

When I think about therapy, neurodiversity, and those who engage with me or services like mine, I think the motivation can often be linked to acceptance: being accepted by others, accepting ourselves, accepting the cards that life has dealt us. These processes can be very individual and personal journeys.

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But we don’t live in a vacuum—we live in communities, societies, and social networks. Acceptance within ourselves without acceptance from others is limited. As a therapist, an autistic woman, and a mother, I'm requesting acceptance. If this day leads to acceptance through awareness-raising, I support it; if not, it is not helpful for me and my world.

Accept us as we are. If you want to be an ally to autistic people, everything else is nice, but not enough.

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” —Alice Walker