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9 Reasons Why Guys Ghost Girls Download ArticleExplore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 He wants to avoid conflict. 2 He thinks ghosting hurts you less. 3 He has low self-esteem. 4 He’s been ghosted before. 5 He’s dealing with something in his personal life. 6 He’s not ready for a relationship. 7 He has an avoidant attachment style. 8 He lost interest. 9 He was leading you on. + Show 6 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD | Edited by Hunter Rising
Last Updated: June 10, 2024 Fact Checked
Download Article ARTICLE VIDEO X
This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 108,637 times.
So you've been chatting with a guy, but then all of a sudden, he just disappears. If you thought the convo was going well, you're probably left wondering why the guy ghosted you. Even though it may hurt, know that a guy ghosting you isn't your fault. There are actually a lot of reasons why guys ghost that have nothing to do with the person they ghosted. Keep reading to find out why a guy may stop messaging you and what you can do to feel better.This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach, Sarah Schewitz, founder of Couples Learn. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
Some guys ghost because they don't know how to cut off communication more directly.
They may not be ready for a serious commitment, but want to avoid confrontation or protect you from being hurt.
Sometimes, guys ghost because something happens unexpectedly in their personal life.
Steps
1
He wants to avoid conflict.
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Some guys think it’s easier to just cut off communication. Talking through a breakup can make some men feel uncomfortable and they might not want to deal with any form of confrontation. Rather than telling you directly and risking drama or criticism, he may stop chatting because he doesn’t handle conflict very well.[1]XResearch source
Ghosting someone to avoid conflict isn’t a fair thing to do to you, and it just means that the guy has issues he needs to work out on his own.
Some guys are shy talking about what they really want from a relationship, so it’s easier for them to just move on.[2]X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview
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He thinks ghosting hurts you less.
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A guy might not want to feel ashamed because he disappointed you. If a guy doesn’t feel the chemistry between you but you do, he may feel responsible for hurting your feelings. To avoid making you sad or disappointed, he might avoid the conversation altogether so he doesn’t feel responsible.[3]XResearch source
It’s completely okay to feel hurt or upset when a guy ghosts you because it’s not a cool thing to do. Let yourself feel those emotions since they’re an important part of moving forward.
3
He has low self-esteem.
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A guy may self-sabotage if he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. If a guy has low self-confidence, he may get the idea that you’re too good for him and close himself off. He may feel safer completely cutting off the relationship because he’s anxious about how you would view him if you kept getting to know him better.[4]XResearch source
Remember that you’re not responsible for how a guy feels. The guy needs more time to grow and you don’t have to wait around for him.
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He’s been ghosted before.
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Ghosting could be the only way he knows how to break things off. If a guy hasn’t been in a lot of relationships, he may think ghosting is the best or only way to end things. He knows what it feels like to be ghosted without an explanation, but it’s all that he’s experienced in the past and doesn’t know any better.[5]XResearch source
Rather than dwelling on the relationship you could have had, recognize that the guy isn’t giving you everything that you need.
5
He’s dealing with something in his personal life.
Download Article
Something may have come up that kept him from responding. If a guy has other things going on in his life or if you weren’t exclusive, his conversation with you may drop to the wayside. When he realizes that he hasn’t responded, he may feel embarrassed that it took so long and avoid messaging you again so you don’t ask what happened.[6]XResearch source
Usually, it’s best to move on. Even if the guy had something going on in his life, he could have taken a minute or two to send you an update. You deserve someone better who will reach out.
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He’s not ready for a relationship.
Download Article
Falling too hard could make him take a step back from communication. If a guy recently got out of a relationship and he feels like you’re moving too fast, he may pull back and go quiet. There’s nothing that you did wrong, but the guy isn’t emotionally ready for another commitment and may need more time to figure out what he wants and needs from a relationship.[7]XResearch source
Take this opportunity to really reflect on what you want and need from a guy in your relationship so you can find someone who meets your needs in the future.[8]X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview
7
He has an avoidant attachment style.
Download Article
Avoidants have trouble getting close to someone else and may ghost. A guy with an avoidant attachment style may have trust or dependency issues from something that happened earlier in his life. When he feels like he’s getting closer to you, he may get anxious and try to end the relationship indirectly by cutting you off and moving on without saying anything.[9]XResearch source
You can try reaching out again for closure if you really felt a connection with the guy.[10]X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview Try something like, “Hey, I don’t know what happened, but I felt a connection and I’d appreciate a quick convo to hear why you think this isn’t working.”
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He lost interest.
Download Article
A guy may decide to move on quietly if he’s not feeling a connection. If you’ve been on a few dates and a guy doesn’t feel that romantic spark, he may stop talking to let you know he’s not interested. You didn’t do anything wrong, but he just didn’t feel the same level of attraction as he did when you first started chatting.[11]XResearch source
It’s going to be okay even if the guy you like doesn’t like you back. You’re an amazing person that deserves to find someone who loves who you are. There are plenty of people out there that will appreciate spending time with you.
9
He was leading you on.
Download Article
A player will cut you off if they never wanted to make a commitment. To some guys, a relationship is like a game where they’re just trying to satisfy themselves. Even if they seem interested at first, they may move on as soon as they get what they wanted from you.[12]XResearch source
It’s okay to feel upset if a guy was playing games with you. Allow yourself to feel all of your feelings and grieve so you can start healing.[13]X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview
Take some time to focus on self-care. Hang out with your friends, pick up some hobbies, and do things that make you feel happy.
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Tips
Remember that someone ghosting you isn’t your fault and that there’s someone out there for you. You’ll be able to find another person that’s excited to spend time and talk with you.[14]XResearch sourceThanks Helpful 12 Not Helpful 1
If you’ve been ghosted a few times, try taking it slow and being upfront about your relationship expectations when you first start talking. That way, a guy will know that you expect him to communicate.[15]XResearch sourceThanks Helpful 12 Not Helpful 0
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Written by: Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 108,637 times. 8 votes - 75% Co-authors: 4Updated: June 10, 2024 Views: 108,637 Categories: Maintaining Relationships In other languages Portuguese Dutch Spanish Japanese
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Download Article Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 He wants to avoid conflict. 2 He thinks ghosting hurts you less. 3 He has low self-esteem. 4 He’s been ghosted before. 5 He’s dealing with something in his personal life. 6 He’s not ready for a relationship. 7 He has an avoidant attachment style. 8 He lost interest. 9 He was leading you on. + Show 6 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD | Edited by Hunter Rising 
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Written by: Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 108,637 times. 8 votes - 75% Co-authors: 4 Updated: June 10, 2024 Views: 108,637 Categories: Maintaining Relationships In other languages Portuguese Dutch Spanish Japanese 
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663 
Some guys think it’s easier to just cut off communication. Talking through a breakup can make some men feel uncomfortable and they might not want to deal with any form of confrontation. Rather than telling you directly and risking drama or criticism, he may stop chatting because he doesn’t handle conflict very well.[1] 
A guy might not want to feel ashamed because he disappointed you. If a guy doesn’t feel the chemistry between you but you do, he may feel responsible for hurting your feelings. To avoid making you sad or disappointed, he might avoid the conversation altogether so he doesn’t feel responsible.[3] 
A guy may self-sabotage if he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. If a guy has low self-confidence, he may get the idea that you’re too good for him and close himself off. He may feel safer completely cutting off the relationship because he’s anxious about how you would view him if you kept getting to know him better.[4] 
Ghosting could be the only way he knows how to break things off. If a guy hasn’t been in a lot of relationships, he may think ghosting is the best or only way to end things. He knows what it feels like to be ghosted without an explanation, but it’s all that he’s experienced in the past and doesn’t know any better.[5] 
Something may have come up that kept him from responding. If a guy has other things going on in his life or if you weren’t exclusive, his conversation with you may drop to the wayside. When he realizes that he hasn’t responded, he may feel embarrassed that it took so long and avoid messaging you again so you don’t ask what happened.[6] 
Falling too hard could make him take a step back from communication. If a guy recently got out of a relationship and he feels like you’re moving too fast, he may pull back and go quiet. There’s nothing that you did wrong, but the guy isn’t emotionally ready for another commitment and may need more time to figure out what he wants and needs from a relationship.[7] 
Avoidants have trouble getting close to someone else and may ghost. A guy with an avoidant attachment style may have trust or dependency issues from something that happened earlier in his life. When he feels like he’s getting closer to you, he may get anxious and try to end the relationship indirectly by cutting you off and moving on without saying anything.[9] 
A guy may decide to move on quietly if he’s not feeling a connection. If you’ve been on a few dates and a guy doesn’t feel that romantic spark, he may stop talking to let you know he’s not interested. You didn’t do anything wrong, but he just didn’t feel the same level of attraction as he did when you first started chatting.[11] 
A player will cut you off if they never wanted to make a commitment. To some guys, a relationship is like a game where they’re just trying to satisfy themselves. Even if they seem interested at first, they may move on as soon as they get what they wanted from you.[12]