Why Do People Hate Coldplay? - Those Guys That Review Stuff

There are a handful of musicians that are truly divisive amongst the general public – Justin Bieber, Oasis, U2, and, of course, Coldplay. Justin Bieber was another in a long line of young popstars that started off with a repetitive song and committed the crime of coming from Canada, Oasis were great, but have been overplayed and are over-rated by those that support them, and U2 had that thing in 2014 where they gave their album away to about one in every 16 people on the planet without asking of people actually wanted it.

But what did Coldplay do?

Two important things to note at the start of this. First, I’m a Coldplay fan, albeit mostly for their work up to 2011’s Mylo Xyloto, with some specific exceptions since then. Second, if you’re not a fan of Coldplay, realistically, it’s just because their style isn’t for you, and you don’t have to explain or justify it to me or anyone else. This piece I’ve written here? It’s a piece of fun, a sort of meta-explanation for people that don’t know why and want to find an explanation.

So, other than the typical reasons – that Chris Martin is a bit whiny when he sings, or that the songs are too depressing, or that they sound the same, or that they’re trying to be too clever, why else do people hate Coldplay so damn much?

It’s because of the financial crash of 2007/2008, and I know you think I’m crazy, but hear me out here.

Coldplay have been around since the year 2000, they’ve had a few good hits, including 9 top ten (in the UK at least) singles, by the time their 2008 album Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends was released. They’d built up a following, had the big ones like Yellow, Fix You and The Scientist, but they’re competing against more bands – the likes of Radiohead, for example – and are unable to generate the foothold that puts them firmly on everyone’s “to listen to list”, not helped by the generally melancholy discography they’re working with. Nothing wrong with melancholy, so far as I’m concerned, but they do this weird thing where half the upbeat music is accompanied by depressing lyrics, and half the depressing music is accompanied by upbeat lyrics, meaning it’s quite hard to find exactly what you’re looking for with them unless you already know where to look.

And then the financial crisis happens, barely anyone new is coming along – we did a little research, and the three biggest non-Coldplay artists that started out in 2008 were Katy Perry, Adele and Lady Gaga, and there’s basically no-one that we still pay much attention to these days that started out in 2007. But Coldplay have another album coming out – Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, the title of which already has a hint at sadness to it – and even better for them, it’s a bit of a hit. Viva La Vida, the song, becomes their first number one hit in the UK, it gets played everywhere, and it’s one of the songs of 2008.

But 2008 was a bit shit. People were losing jobs, everyone was skint, there was, in the UK, political change on the way, with the preceding turmoil that that invariably brings – remember, 2007/2008 was the end of Blair, the start of Brown, things were a bit messy there, and it’s not all because of the financial crisis. Being associated with 2008 is not a particularly good thing to be, whether it’s a fair association or not. That all being said, things look good for Coldplay, what with their best hit coming out, their album doing well, no reason for them to be overly concerned at all – they’ve been able to release new music, something I imagine is costly, at a time when risky expenditure is not such a clever idea.

But then the people that love Viva la Vida decide to go ahead and check out the back catalogue, they realise something – the songs are generally a bit depressing, and then they remember just how shit things are at the moment, and combined, it all floods into one big mess of dislike. A sad song is fine, but if you’re already feeling down, it can push you over the edge – and let’s be fair here, The Scientist is not a happy song, Fix You is not a brilliantly sang song for the vast majority of its length, and no band can be sustained by Yellow alone. Remember, I’m a fan and I’m saying this. Early Coldplay is generally sad. Exceptions, yes, but if you don’t pay a lot of attention, it’ll just feel like one sad song after another, the last thing you need when we’re in – oh, guess what, the largest recession the world had ever seen, at the time.

And those sorts of associations stick, you know? Heck, I’ve got my own negative Coldplay association – the first Christmas after my parents split up was also the first time I heard their song Christmas Lights, a song with the repeated line “doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all”, and so I’ve come to associate it with that Christmas, Christmas 2011, even though the song came out in December 2010.

The associations our brains make, whether they’re fair, whether we want them or not, are powerful things. I believe that, even if it’s subconscious, people have associated Coldplay with that really shit part of their life when they just wanted it over and done with, a time they don’t want to go back to in their heads, and so Coldplay are one of the casualties. I believe that people hate Coldplay because of the poor timing of the release of Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, and the sad back catalogue they had at the time. I strongly believe it.

Because let’s be real here. Coldplay aren’t that bad, and with their later work – 2011 onwards, things have taken a more positive sound, have a more positive vibe – Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall, a song about turning sadness into triumph, Up & Up, a song with one of the most amazing music videos I’ve ever seen, and Charlie Brown, a song that literally describes being a light in the darkness around us. It’s not all doom and gloom with Coldplay, you just need to know where to look.

-TG

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