Why Does Sex Feel Good For Men And Women? - Healthline

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HealthlineSubscribeWhy Does Sex Feel Good?

Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST-S — Written by Erica Cirino — Updated on October 10, 2019

Do you love to have sex? If you do, you’re not alone. Scientists know that sex is a pleasurable experience for most women. But how and why does it feel so good to have sex?

According to science, there are a lot of reasons

Scientists say there’s a lot going on in the body that makes sex feel good. These feelings of pleasure belong to a series of physical and emotional stages that you experience when you’re having sex or feeling aroused.

The four stages of the so-called sexual response cycle include:

excitement
plateau
orgasm
resolution

These four stages are experienced by both men and women and can occur during intercourse or masturbation. Every person experiences different timing and different intensity of the various stages because every person’s body is different.

Phase 1: Excitement

You or your partner may experience:

increased muscle tension
increased heart rate and breathing
flushed skin
hardened or erect nipples
increased blood flow to genitals (causing swelling in the woman’s clitoris and inner lips — labia minora — and erection in the man’s penis)
increased moistness in the vagina
more fullness in the woman’s breasts
swelling in the woman’s vaginal walls
swelling of the man’s testicles
tightening of the man’s scrotum
secretions of lubricating liquid from the man’s penis

Phase 2: Plateau

You or your partner may experience:

an escalation of the physical changes from stage 1 (elevated breathing, heart rate, muscle tension, and blood pressure)
increased vaginal swelling and a change in color in the vaginal walls to dark purple
increased sensitivity to a woman’s clitoris (sometimes becoming painful to the touch) and retracting under the clitoral hood so that it doesn’t become stimulated directly by the penis
the man’s testicles pulled up into the scrotum
muscle spasms possibly occurring in the feet, face, and hands

Phase 3: Orgasm

You or your partner may experience:

involuntary muscle contractions
the intensity of blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing at their highest and both partners taking oxygen rapidly into the body
muscle spasms possibly occurring in the feet
a sudden and powerful release of sexual tension
contraction of the vaginal muscles in women as well as rhythmic contractions in the uterus
rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis in men, which results in semen ejaculation
a flush or “sex rash” over the body

Women can experience several orgasms with continued sexual stimulation. Men must wait after an orgasm to have another. This waiting period varies among men and increases with age.

Phase 4: Resolution

During this phase:

The body returns to normal function.
Swollen and erect body parts return to their usual size and color.
There’s an increased sense of well-being, intimacy, and fatigue.

Why sex feels good to your brain

The brain is its own pleasure center during sex. Just being physically close with another human being is known to increase levels of oxytocin — the “cuddle hormone” — in the brain, making you feel happy and safe.

Scientists know that certain parts of the brain are associated with pleasure, becoming more active after consuming food or drugs — or having sex.

When we have sex, the physical signals felt by the body send signals through our nerves to the brain — which reacts by releasing chemicals that make us experience even more pleasure.

Some research suggests the rhythmic nature of sex and sexual stimulation creates a physical-psychological loop of pleasure.

As physical pleasure increases during the orgasm phase of sex, so does psychological pleasure — and more psychological pleasure increases physical pleasure.

The research also suggests that the rhythm of sex can help women and men choose appropriate sexual partners.

A person will tend toward a sexual partner whose rhythm brings them the most pleasure because a good rhythm is a measure of sexual fitness.

How to have better sex

The best way to have better sex is to learn to listen to your body and brain. Who and what brings you the most pleasure during sex?

Choose sexual partners that make you feel happy and fulfilled. Feeling comfortable with someone can help you have good sex.
Opt for sexual positions that bring you the most pleasure. Take time to explore your body on your own and know what sensations you most enjoy. Masturbating is a safe, healthy, and normal way to learn more about your sexual preferences.
Talk to your partner about what they like. Keep an open line of communication with your partner when it comes to talking about sex.
Try things your partner likes and ask them to try things you like. Sex is more enjoyable when both parties involved are getting pleasure from the experience. Learn about what brings the other pleasure, together.

Keep your sex safe

The most pleasurable type of sex is safer sex. Good sexual health places a high priority on healthy relationships, planned pregnancies, and prevention of sexually transmitted infections.

Be sure you’re on the same page as your sexual partner before having sex. Open communication about sexual health is just as important as — if not more important than — open communication about sexual pleasure.

How we reviewed this article:

SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Benson E. (2003). The science of sexual arousal.http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr03/arousal.aspx
Kringelbach M, et al. (2010). The neuroscienceof happiness and pleasure.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3008658/
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2016). Sexual health basics.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087698/
Safron A. (2016). What is orgasm? A model ofsexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087698/
Sexual response cycle. (2017).https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9119-sexual-response-cycle

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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST-S — Written by Erica Cirino — Updated on October 10, 2019

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According to science, there are a lot of reasons

Phase 1: Excitement

Phase 2: Plateau

Phase 3: Orgasm

Phase 4: Resolution

Why sex feels good to your brain

How to have better sex

Keep your sex safe

How we reviewed this article:

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