Why We Like Sad Endings - Screen Therapy

It might be surprising, but multiple studies have shown that we actually enjoy sad endings. Our brains enjoy the feeling of empathy and sadness for others. In a way, we like seeing movie or game characters fall just short of their happy endings and endure tragedy as their final chapter closes.

Why do we like seeing these characters suffer? Are we sadistic?

No. It’s more complex than that. There are a few far more poignant reasons we enjoy the sadness we feel for the star-crossed characters in our favorite sad stories.

Is It Only “At Least That’s Not Me”?

Some studies have found that one reason we enjoy sad endings is because, by contrast, they make our lives look better. This study, by Ohio State University, had participants reflect on their feelings after seeing tragic events in a story. They found that being exposed to tragedy made people think about how grateful they felt for not having to endure what the characters did. 

This makes sense, seeing others’ sorrows makes our own seem smaller and easier to navigate. But is there something else we gain from sad endings that lead to our enjoyment?

Happy Endings Can Be Isolating

What about our relationship with happy endings? We love seeing characters kiss at the end of a story and settle in somewhere where they can be happy. We love seeing the innocent persevere, grow strong, and find peace. However, sometimes we feel a little lost with so many happy endings around us.

As we grow older we become more and more aware of how rare and difficult it is to reach our own happy conclusions. When we watch yet another happy ending we feel a little cheated. Its so easy for these characters to tie up loose ends and they seem so mindfully grateful of their blissful surroundings (which is very, very difficult for the majority of us who are easily distracted by the small imperfections). Although this is the ideal, it is hardly the reality. In our own lives we always seem to be struggling with one large problem after another.

Those touched by tragedy or turmoil in real life might grow tired of happy endings, because they feel disingenuous. Or worse, they might make us feel as though our tragedy or woes are abnormal.  So sometimes we crave an honest depiction of sadness, disappointment, regret, and, most importantly, resilience. 

My Sadness Isn’t So Strange

Sad endings help us feel normal. Yes, we might feel better because we don’t have to deal with as much sadness or stress as the main characters, but we can also relate to them a little. We have felt a bit of what they have.

Seeing relatable characters try their best and still end up disappointed can be a healing balm for our own disappointments.

We are our own main character, but we’re not always lucky enough to be rewarded with happy endings or blissful times. Instead, we’ve had to endure injustices and sudden sadness. We’ve been pushed around by the whims of others and felt helpless in the face of irreconcilable strife.

Seeing sad endings helps us feel a little less bitter about our own sadness. We are not alone. We are not the villain who deserves everything they get. If we apply what we know about Narrative Psychology we see how sad endings are useful inspiration for us.

According to Narrative Psychology, how we feel about our lives depends largely on how we “write” our own stories. We can write “contamination stories” where negative events and our sorrows are written as punishments or as abnormal and poisonous to our lives in a larger scale. Or we can write “redemptive stories” that frame our negative events and feelings as growing experiences. In these stories we see ourselves as resilient heroes/heroines that will eventually overcome these “bad endings”.

By exposing ourselves to sad endings we are learning a new style of narrative that is very useful.

We learn that we can experience sorrow and tragedy without having earned it. We can simply be unlucky. We are not strange, abnormal, or poisoned by our sadness. Instead, we can take solace that sad things can happen to heroes (anyone, including ourselves). Being reminded of this simple, profound fact can help heal a lot of the involuntary shame we might feel for our disappointment.

Sad endings remind us that life is very difficult, we are lucky for the joys we do have, but we are not being singled out by the universe when we experience failure or sadness. We are not weak, alone, or deserving of our pain. We are, instead, just as heroic as the tragic figures who endure so much and still reserve their character. 

Thank you for reading!

This blog, Screen Therapy, is dedicated to exploring how we can mindfully use the time we already spend on games and movies to strengthen our emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is crucial when we face the everyday stresses and anxieties we all endure (such as the fear of death, how to develop the skills for loving relationships, or learning how to cope with just how difficult life feels, etc.)

We receive very little formal education or help in processing these difficult challenges, but by strengthening our self-knowledge and emotional intelligence through art and culture we can better pursue our personal balance.

Share this:

• Tweet

Like Loading...

Related