Writing Romance: What IS Reverse Harem? - Intuitive Writing Guide

Before 90% of you run out because you didn’t sign up for a series on writing polyamory, read the next few paragraphs.

Definition: ‘Multiple love interests’ means a story where multiple men/boys are attracted to a single woman/girl.  The number of men can range from three to, well, as many as you feel like writing or the story presents.  Typically, it ranges from three to seven.

Some consider it to be multiple love interests or a ‘non-poly reverse harem’ only when more than three men are attracted to the girl, and consider three + the FMC to be a love square, so be aware of that potential technicality.

The popularity of reverse harem (polyamorous and otherwise) stories began in Japanese anime, (which, incidentally has its share of harem stories as well).  In said anime, it’s most often YA fantasy, targeting a teen girl audience, allowing them to live out a fantasy of being attractive to multiple boys, each of varying temperaments and interests, though some of them also contain surprisingly deep reflections on personalities and learning to accept and love yourself for who you really are.

What do you mean it’s not a literal harem?

When discussing romance story lines in literature, the terms harem and reverse harem DO NOT automatically imply that it is a polyamorous story or that it will have a polyamorous ending.  In fact, such a story and/or ending is typically only found in straight up Romance genre books and/or Erotica.

ETA in 2023: since the original posting of this, “why choose” polyamorous reverse harem stories have exploded in popularity in English-language fiction and become a large sub-genre of romance. This series will be revised soon and be joined by a companion series about the “why choose” reverse harem stories.

The NON-polyamorous endings/story lines are what I’ll be discussing here.

WHY write it at all?

Well, if you’re writing Historical Fiction or Historical Fantasy, it may have been a component of that story in real life.  If not, it can still be a brilliant and FUN way to illustrate the various facets of your heroine and your heroes, especially in Court Intrigue Fantasy and Historical Fantasy, though it works in other genres as well.

For example, in the CW spy-fiction show Nikita, it was intended to show how Nikita’s ability to empathize with and care for people in general as well as understand her fellow assassins made her an incredible force of nature.  (Yes, I said ‘it was intended.’  Hint: the execution failed somewhat, but we’ll cover that later and in a Lecture series sometime.)

In The Arthurian Omen by G. G. Vandagriff, it was meant to illustrate how key the FMC was to the unfolding plot, though she didn’t know it, and to show Arthurian symbolism.  (Hint: it also failed, being one of the worst reverse harem stories I’ve ever read, but we’ll cover that another time.)

One place where it arguably can be said to mostly succeed is in Game of Thrones (this is not an endorsement or recommendation of the TV show).  Daenerys Targaryen is beautiful, powerful, and compassionate – at least at first.  One or more of those qualities attract a variety of men over the course of her story, including up to three or four at a single time.

To recap, it can be a brilliant way of showcasing different facets of your FMC and your MMCs.  The characters or the story will guide you as to whether it’s merited or not.  It’s rarely absolutely needed, but it can be done well and leave you with an incredibly fascinating, complex story.

Why do I personally write it?

There are typically two kinds of reverse harem FMCs: the innocent woman and the powerful woman.  Both power and innocence attract.  I’ll elaborate on this next week.

I’ve written both, and simply put, my reason for writing it in each case was that the story demanded it, from an innocent woman in a modern fantasy fairy tale retelling to powerful women in a futuristic political college story, multiple court intrigue fantasies, and a coming-of-age political fantasy.  I promise you reverse harem story lines can work in a variety of genres.

[For those who are interested in hearing more about why I write it, stop by my personal blog tomorrow.]

So, HOW do we do it?

Writing reverse harem story lines is HARD.  Love triangles are hard enough to do realistically and without being gaggingly cliche, shallow, or inane.  How on earth does one juggle more than two or three love lines and make them realistic?  Make them MEAN something and serve a purpose other than wish-fulfillment fantasy?  Make them BELIEVABLE?  Because let’s face it, each of us knows very few women in real life who can not only attract but also KEEP the attraction of multiple men of (sometimes widely) differing personalities.

In essence, it comes down to plot, character construction, and to chemistry.  We’ll be examining the best and worst ways to do it.  By the time you’re done with this series, you’ll hopefully be able to go write a novel in which multiple men are believably attracted to one woman, without having readers toss it down in disgust over how shallow or stupid it is… or condemn it as a writer merely living out a fantasy on paper.

Basically: hang tight, writers.  The ride is just beginning.

Merry Writing… and may all your romance plots and sub-plots be believable!

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