Your Partner Has A Big Penis. Here's How To Handle It

Skip navigation!ADVERTISEMENTStory from SexADVERTISEMENTYour Partner Has A Big Penis. Here’s How To Handle ItElizabeth GulinoLast Updated March 26, 2020, 5:06 PM Photographed by Kate Anglestein.So your partner has a larger-than-average member. Sharing that news may elicit more "congratulations!" than concern, but people who know, know: Sometimes sleeping with a someone with a giant dick can be harder than people think (no pun intended). Sex can hurt, which can be a bummer for everyone involved. It can even start to affect your relationship.If you're not ready to give up on penetrative sex or the relationship, there is hope. Try these five strategies, which experts say will make a massive dick easier to handle, and bring the joy back into your sex life.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT

Keep the communication flowing

Be direct about the fact that sex has been painful or difficult or that you're concerned it will be, and that you'd like to do something about it."Sex is such an important part of a relationship that you don't want to sugarcoat or hint at something that could be potentially deal-breaking for you both. Sometimes couples, when they don't communicate directly or they don't find solutions that work for them, they do end up breaking up," says Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist and founder of Bloomi.Here are some ways to approach the sensitive topic: "You can say 'I'm excited to have sex with you, but I'm not sure how penetration is going to go. Can we take it slow?'" says Myisha Battle, certified sex and dating coach.If you've already had a few failed attempts, you might say something like, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to fit all of you in my mouth, but let's get creative!"

Focus on foreplay

The answer is almost always more foreplay. The more aroused you both are, the more relaxed and lubricated you'll be, and that can help alleviate pain, Story says.Spending plenty of time enjoying foreplay also helps take some pressure off of penetrative intercourse, which isn't the end-all, be-all of sex after all. You can find other ways to get off, so penetration can become a part of your sex life rather than the main focus. And that can help you both enjoy your time between the sheets even more.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT

Introduce toys to the mix

We're not talking about a vibrator. (Although that can definitely help during foreplay.) Story recommends using an accessory called a spacer, such as this one from OhNut. The soft ring slips around the base of the penis."It's basically a buffer that the one penetrating puts on, so the person receiving won't receive the entire length of the penis," she says. You can make the spacer longer and shorter, depending on how much of the member you can take. This makes it easier for your partner to penetrate without having to worry about stopping short at exactly the right time.

Experiment with sex positions

One way you can work around your partner's super-long schlong is to find exactly what positions work for their big penis."The person receiving wants to be in control of the penetration amount and the intensity of it," Story says. "Any position where it takes the weight off of the penetrating parter work well." For example, having sex in side-by-side — either face-to-face or spooning — can prevent super-deep penetration. In general, positions that put the receiver on top give them more control during sex and prevents painful mistakes.Avoid doggy style and missionary, which allow for deep penetration.

Skip the lube

Or at least, choose wisely and use it sparingly. A little extra lubrication can certainly make sex more enjoyable, especially if you don't naturally get super-wet during sex. But consider using a water-based lube over an oil or silicone one. Not only are they safe to use with condoms and toys, but water-based options also tend to have a little less "slip" than other types, which can be a good thing when you're dealing with your partner's mega member."Because lube makes things so slippery, it may accidentally make your thrusting more glide-y and faster when you're not intending for that to happen," Story explains. Use it if you need it, but proceed with caution.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT RelationshipsI Use Romantasy Books As “Masturbation Material” — Is That Healthy?It’s 2 a.m. and the enemies in my new romantasy book have just turned into lovers — and it’s turning me on more than I expected. This is part of a faby Rebecca FearnOnline DatingReddit’s Dirtiest Pick-Up Lines Will Make You BlushWe’re all familiar with “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” and “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” But what about… diby Erika W. SmithWellness6 Signs You Just Had An OrgasmYou might have heard an orgasm described as a vaginal sneeze or called “la petite mort” — French for “the little death.” Others might describe orby Erika W. SmithAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTRelationshipsDating Is So Bleak, Even The Anxious Girlies Are Becoming AvoidantAre you anxious, avoidant or secure? What’s rarely discussed is whether people can switch from one camp to another. People wear their “anxious” labelby Tanyel MustafaSexThe Sexual Hygiene Habit You Should Never SkipThere are two rules that anyone having anal sex has hopefully heard before: First, always use lube; second, don’t go straight from anal sex to vaginaby Cory StiegBodyIf Your Vulva Is Tingling, This Might Be WhyDepending on the situation, your vulva can sometimes feel wet, itchy, burning, or swollen. Sometimes a new feeling in your vagina is the result of a healthby Erika W. SmithSex17 Steamy & Free Erotic Literature Sitesby Kasandra BrabawSexThe Kama Sutra Sex Positions You Didn’t Know Existedby Lux AlptraumSexWhat To Do When Doggy Style Sex Gets UncomfortableDoggy style is one of the most universally popular sex positions, at least according to both online surveys and Google search data. It requires no flexibilby Cory StiegRelationshipsWhat To Say If You Get Tongue-Tied During Phone Sexby Cory StiegSexOut Of Sexting Ideas? Try Theseby Kimberly TruongSex21 Steamy Erotic Stories Written By Women — & Why They’re Importantby Rachel Kramer BusselAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENT