14 Ways To Be Emotionless - WikiHow

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• Emotional Detachment

How to Turn off Your Emotions and Take Back the Power Download Article Helpful techniques to distract your mind and body Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Take some deep breaths. 2 Focus on your body, not your mind. 3 Look at yourself in the mirror. 4 Repeat a mantra to yourself. 5 Distract yourself with engaging activities. 6 Avoid emotional triggers. 7 Challenge your negative thoughts. 8 Change your perspective on emotions. 9 Worry about your own problems. 10 Practice mindfulness. 11 Focus on your own emotional goals. 12 Record your thoughts in a journal. 13 Get enough sleep. 14 Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury emotions. 15 Consider seeking professional help. + Show 12 more... - Show less... Other Sections Expert Q&A Video Related Articles References Article Summary Co-authored by Nicole Lam and Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.

Last Updated: December 18, 2025 Fact Checked

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This article was co-authored by Nicole Lam and by wikiHow staff writer, Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.. Nicole Lam is a Registered Clinical Counselor based in Vancouver, BC, Canada. With over 2 years of experience, Nicole is the founder of Ren Therapy and specializes in relationship anxiety and attachment. A few therapeutic approaches that inform her work include Attachment Theory, Somatic Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Mindfulness Therapy, EMDR, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT). With previous experience in social media and digital marketing, Nicole also shares mental health reminders and insights online to over 100k followers. Nicole has a master of Counselling Psychology degree from City University of Seattle, where she graduated on the President’s Honours List. Nicole is currently licensed with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC). There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 1,667,407 times.

Being in tune with your emotions is a great thing, and it can lead to deeper connections and more awareness overall. However, when your emotions control you, they can seriously affect your ability to perform and to think clearly in crucial situations. You can’t get rid of your emotions completely, but you can keep emotions from taking over your life. Keep reading for 15 simple strategies you can use to be emotionless when you need to. We’ve spoken to numerous experts, from licensed psychologists to relationship and life coaches, for advice on how to focus on freeing yourself from the emotional ups and downs that don’t serve you.

How to Become Emotionless

Life coach Seth Hall feels it’s important to remember that certain things are in your control, while others are not, when trying to detach from your emotions. Other ways to be emotionless are ahead:

• Focus on your body instead of your mind.
• Avoid emotional triggers that can stress you out.
• Challenge any negative thoughts that may arise.
• Practice mindfulness through meditation or journaling.

Steps

1

Take some deep breaths.

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1. When you feel strong emotions coming on, pause for a moment. Breathe deeply in through your nose, then let it out through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel your heart rate slowing and you can control your breathing.[1]
   • Mindful breathing is also a good way to control anxiety.
   • Deep breathing is a good way to control your emotions subtly.[2] For instance, let’s say you run into an ex—you might not have time to step away and control your emotions on your own. You can secretly practice deep breathing even while in a conversation with someone.
   • Hall emphasizes how important it is to detach yourself from “things outside of your control." He also thinks “having a semblance of control over yourself and your emotions is helpful in personal relationships."[3]

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Seth Hall is a life coach with over 10 years of experience in personal development, relationships, and wellness.

   Adam Dorsay, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationship issues, stress reduction, and anxiety.

   Chloe Carmichael, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 12 years of experience in relationship issues, stress management, and self-esteem.

   Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA, is a licensed therapist specializing in resolving emotional and behavioral problems.

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2

Focus on your body, not your mind.

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1. Get up and walk around or do some stretching. What does your body feel like right now? Pay attention to the feeling of the clothes on your skin, and try to ignore any thoughts that you’re having. This can help you stay grounded and control emotional outbursts in the moment.[4]
   • Taking a nature walk is also a good way to ground yourself.
   • You could also massage your own shoulders and focus on the sensation of touch.
   • Or, if you have time, do a few yoga poses as a way to connect with your body.
   • Licensed clinical psychologist Christy Irvine, PhD, also suggests that “paying attention to your body cues” can help you identify emotional triggers. “Emotions are really labels that we place on physical sensations in our bodies. Getting in touch with that first can often be really helpful."[5]

3

Look at yourself in the mirror.

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1. It will help you reconnect with your body and your mind. If you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, head to the bathroom and look at the mirror for a few minutes. As you do, focus on taking deep breaths and think about increasing your self-compassion.[6]
   • After 2 to 3 minutes, you’ll probably feel your heart rate slow down and your breathing get a little more even. You might even look less emotional on the surface.
   • Heading to the bathroom also lets you take a little break to control your emotions by yourself. It’s a good tool to use at work or out in public when things get a little overwhelming.
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4

Repeat a mantra to yourself.

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1. A simple phrase can help you calm your emotions. When you feel yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths and repeat your mantra inside your mind to be less emotional. You can pick whatever phrase you’d like, but some common ones include:[7]
   • “This isn’t about me.”
   • “No need to get worked up.”
   • “This will pass.”

5

Distract yourself with engaging activities.

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1. Do something engaging that will keep your mind off your emotions. Try to pick something that really works your brain: do a puzzle, read a new book, try a word search, or do some art. The more you can keep your mind off things, the less you’ll focus on your emotions and the more nonchalant you will be.[8]
   • Stay away from mindless activities, like watching TV or scrolling through social media. These aren’t very engaging, so they won’t do much to distract you.
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6

Avoid emotional triggers.

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1. Some things rile us up no matter what we do. To reduce stress when running late, plan on leaving the house 10 minutes early. If there’s an acquaintance you find particularly annoying, avoid the spots they’re most likely to hang out.[9]
   • Life coach Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA, notes that "getting emotionally involved with all of the people in your life can make your life feel like a roller coaster."[10] While you can’t avoid your emotional triggers all of the time, you can do your best to limit them in your day-to-day life.

7

Challenge your negative thoughts.

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1. Negative thoughts can really skew our perceptions. You can ask yourself things like “Is that really true?” or “What evidence do I have to support that?” to think logically instead of with your emotions. Over time, you may be able to stop your negative thoughts in their tracks, which can help you stop being emotional.[11]
   • For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t have any friends,” ask yourself, “Is that really true? Didn’t I just hang out with my friends over the weekend?”
   • Or, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m gonna do so bad on this project,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support that? I can’t see into the future.”
   • Certified dating and relationship coach Kimberly Hill believes that "emotional maturity doesn't mean you don't experience a wide range of emotions; it means you can recognize that your emotions don't control you, so you have some level of understanding over your emotions."[12]
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8

Change your perspective on emotions.

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1. Often, we think of our emotions as negative. Instead, try to see them as a helpful tool. If you’re super nervous before a job interview and you find yourself shaking or sweating, reframe the emotion by saying, “Wow, I have so much energy for this interview!” Your emotions now become a silver lining instead of a hindrance.[13]
   • If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a coworker, remind yourself that you’re just passionate about your work and you want to do a good job.
   • If you feel yourself getting sad because you have to see your ex, tell yourself that your sadness just means you’re going to have a lot of love to give to your next partner.
   • According to licensed psychologist Adam Dorsay, PsyD, when looking at your emotions from a new perspective, remember that “human beings are emotional beings—that is just a fact you need to accept. The ultimate goal is 'I want to be more emotionally intelligent over time.’"[14]

9

Worry about your own problems.

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1. Shouldering the burdens of others can really wear you down. If you’re an empathetic person, listening to your friends or family members vent about their issues can really take a toll on you. It’s great to care about other people, but it’s also okay to set boundaries if you need to take some time for yourself.[15]
   • For instance, if your friend wants to call and chat about her terrible boyfriend, you could say, “I love talking to you, but I’m just not in the headspace to offer advice right now. Could we talk next week instead?”
   • You could also say, “In the future, would you mind asking before you call to vent? I love chatting with you, but sometimes I’m just in a terrible mood and I can’t offer good advice.”
   • After setting boundaries, take this time to "work on your inner self. Be aware of your emotional triggers and wounds," suggests personal coach Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC.[16]
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10

Practice mindfulness.

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1. Mindfulness can help you control emotional outbursts. Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what’s going on right now in this moment.[17] It might help to focus on your senses: name a few things you can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear to stay present.[18]
   • According to life & career coach Annie Lin, MBA, “meditation can help you learn to create distance between you as the ‘observer’ and your emotions. Emotions are energies moving through your body, just like clouds that move across the sky.” By practicing mindfulness, “you can remain in the space where various emotions happen, just like the sky is there for the clouds."[19]
   • Mindfulness is also great for your mental health in general, especially if you deal with anxiety.

11

Focus on your own emotional goals.

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1. Spend time thinking about yourself and your goals for the future. It can be difficult at first, but prioritizing yourself over others will leave you feeling happier and healthier in the long run. Licensed Therapist Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA, reminds that it’s key to "allow your emotions to be there. Name them and start learning and recognizing what they are. Try to understand what causes these emotions” so they won’t hinder your goals for the future.[20]
   • Whether or not others think you’re being cold, prioritizing your own stress levels helps you put yourself first, so you can have the emotional space to know where you’d like to head now.
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12

Record your thoughts in a journal.

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1. Use a personal journal to work through your emotions. Licensed clinical psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, thinks that “instead of trying to get rid of your emotions, writing in a journal can help you ask the question, 'what are the emotions I'm feeling?’”[21] Letting your feelings out will keep you from bottling them up so you don’t explode.[22]
   • Set aside 5 to 10 minutes every night to write about what you did that day and how you felt. If you experienced any strong emotions, write about what happened and how you handled it.
   • Keep your journal in a private place so no one else can read it.

13

Get enough sleep.

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1. Studies show that lack of sleep can lead to emotional outbursts. Make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night so you wake up rested and ready to tackle the day. Sleep is a very important part of mental health, and getting enough will benefit every aspect of your life.[23]
   • When you get a good night’s sleep, you’re more capable of making calm, rational decisions instead of basing them on emotions.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 320 wikiHow readers and 50% of them agreed that getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night is the best self-care activity for taking care of their physical and mental health. [Take Poll]
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14

Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury emotions.

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1. It will probably only make your problems worse. Using drugs or alcohol to tamp down what you’re feeling or get to a place where you don’t feel at all isn’t a good long-term solution, and your emotions will continue to build until you address them. Self-medicating is never a good idea, and it can leave you in a worse place than when you started.[24]
   • Food can also be used as a way to tamp down emotions, whether that’s overeating or undereating. Try to stick to a regular, healthy diet as you work through your emotions.

15

Consider seeking professional help.

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1. Therapy can give you support to address any emotional issues. A therapist can also assist you in finding specific strategies for dealing with and regulating your emotions.[25] Plus, you’ll learn to identify the behaviors or mindsets that are working against you so you can feel more freedom from your emotional triggers.[26]
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Expert Q&A

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• Question Is it good to be emotionless? Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist Expert Answer No, our emotions contain important information. They're a way to process what you're experiencing and it's your body's way of telling you how it feels. With that said, it's true that you don't want your emotions to overwhelm you to the point that you lose control. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 658 Helpful 230

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References

1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation
2. ↑ Nicole Lam. Registered Clinical Counselor. Expert Interview
3. ↑ Seth Hall. Life Coach. Expert Interview
4. ↑ https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation
5. ↑ Christy Irvine, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-clarity/201701/6-tips-for-managing-strong-emotions-in-the-moment
7. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-self-sabotage/201001/you-are-the-master-of-your-emotions
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201502/5-ways-to-get-your-unwanted-emotions-under-control

More References (17)

10. ↑ Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview
11. ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/try-these-two-smart-techniques-to-help-you-master-your-emotions/
12. ↑ Kimberly Hill. Certified Dating and Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
13. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/emotional-intelligence-eq
14. ↑ Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview
15. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/07/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-you-are-busy-taking-care-of-everyone-else#Prioritizing-self-care-when-youre-busy-taking-care-of-everyone-else
16. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Personal Coach. Expert Interview
17. ↑ Nicole Lam. Registered Clinical Counselor. Expert Interview
18. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner
19. ↑ Annie Lin, MBA. Life & Career Coach. Expert Interview
20. ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Licensed Therapist. Expert Interview
21. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
22. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
23. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/stress/stress-management
24. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/addiction/self-medicating
25. ↑ Nicole Lam. Registered Clinical Counselor. Expert Interview
26. ↑ https://theawarenesscentre.com/how-to-stop-being-so-emotionally-reactive/

About This Article

Co-authored by: Nicole Lam Registered Clinical Counselor This article was co-authored by Nicole Lam and by wikiHow staff writer, Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.. Nicole Lam is a Registered Clinical Counselor based in Vancouver, BC, Canada. With over 2 years of experience, Nicole is the founder of Ren Therapy and specializes in relationship anxiety and attachment. A few therapeutic approaches that inform her work include Attachment Theory, Somatic Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Mindfulness Therapy, EMDR, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT). With previous experience in social media and digital marketing, Nicole also shares mental health reminders and insights online to over 100k followers. Nicole has a master of Counselling Psychology degree from City University of Seattle, where she graduated on the President’s Honours List. Nicole is currently licensed with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC). This article has been viewed 1,667,407 times. 3 votes - 100% Co-authors: 54 Updated: December 18, 2025 Views: 1,667,407 Categories: Featured Articles | Emotional Detachment Article SummaryX

If you want to be emotionless, try to think logically and focus on the facts, rather than getting swept up in emotions, which will help you remain objective. When you’re confronted with an unwanted emotion, distract yourself by getting up and doing something, like going to the gym, taking a walk, or practicing an instrument. Another good way to let go of your emotions is to write them down in a journal or in your phone’s notes app so you can become more self-aware and understand your emotions better. You can also try meditating by sitting quietly and focusing on your breath, which will help to calm you down when you get stressed. For more tips, including how to think logically through emotional experiences, read on! Did this summary help you?YesNo

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