Repressed Emotions: Finding And Releasing Them - Healthline

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What to Know About Repressed Emotions

Medically reviewed by Bethany Juby, PsyD — Written by Crystal Raypole — Updated on October 25, 2024

Why it happens
Commonly repressed emotions
Physical effects
Other signs
Releasing them
Takeaway

You may repress emotions if you avoid them without realizing it. This may happen because of traumatic experiences, particularly in childhood. But you can learn to release and manage your emotions.

Repressed emotions refer to emotions that you unconsciously avoid. These differ from suppressed emotions, which are feelings you purposely avoid because you don’t know exactly how to manage them.

Say you and your partner have a fight and decide to break up one evening. You still have to meet with an important client at work the next day, so you decide to suppress, or push aside, your feelings until you get home from that meeting.

Suppression can sometimes be a good short-term solution as long as you address those emotions sooner rather than later.

Repressed emotions, on the other hand, don’t get a chance to be processed. But that doesn’t mean they disappear. Instead, they might show up as a range of psychological or physical symptoms.

Keep reading to learn about repressed emotions, why they may happen, and how to manage them.

Why does it happen?

Emotional repression often relates to childhood experiences.

Much of what children learn about behavior and communication comes from their primary caregivers.

You may feel pretty comfortable expressing your emotions if your caregivers:

frequently talked about their feelings
encouraged you to share how experiences made you feel
normalized your positive andnegative emotional experiences
didn’t judge or criticize your emotional expressions

Adults with repressed emotions may feel out of touch or disconnected from their feelings because they had a different childhood experience.

For example, you might be more likely to repress emotions if your caregivers:

rarely showed emotion or talked about their feelings
shamed or punished you for expressing your emotions
told you your emotions were wrong or denied your experience

If showing your feelings in childhood led to distressing or painful outcomes, you may have learned it was much safer to avoid it entirely. As an adult, you might continue to bury strong emotions without realizing what you’re doing. You might also notice you tend to push even the emotions you do notice aside.

What kinds of emotions get repressed?

For the most part, people may be more likely to repress strong emotions, especially those associated with discomfort or other unpleasant experiences. This may include emotions like:

anger
frustration
sadness
fear
disappointment

Notice a pattern? These emotions are often described as negative. It’s common to repress emotions you consider “bad” or believe others might judge you for expressing.

Again, this stems back to your childhood. Maybe you grew up hearing things like:

“You don’t have any reason to be sad.”
“Calm down.”
“You should be grateful.”

Even if your caregivers didn’t specifically invalidate your emotional experience, they still might’ve discouraged you from expressing intense emotions freely by telling you to stop crying or shouting.

As a result, you may have started to think of sadness, anger, and disappointment as emotions you shouldn’t have, or at the very least, shouldn’t acknowledge to anyone.

You may feel more in touch with positive emotions or those considered “normal” and generally accepted by others. It might seem easier to express them if you know they won’t draw criticism, though this isn’t the case for everyone who may have unknowingly repressed emotions.

Can your emotions really lead to physical symptoms?

“Hold on,” you might think. “My emotions don’t make me sick… do they?”

They actually may, in a way.

There’s no evidence to suggest emotions directly cause illness, of course. Sadness can’t give you the flu, and anger doesn’t cause cancer. However, a small 2023 research study that monitored emotional states and immunity markers present in the urine of 3 participants suggests that emotions may influence markers of immune health.

A 2019 review of research suggests a link between emotional repression and decreased immune system function. If your immune system doesn’t work properly, you might get sick more frequently and recover slowly. However, additional research is still needed to further support the link between emotional repression and immunity.

Repressed emotions can also factor into mental health conditions, such as stress, anxiety, and depression.

These issues often cause physical symptoms, including:

muscle tension and pain
nausea and digestive problems
appetite changes
fatigue and sleep problems

Childhood trauma, one possible cause of repressed emotions, may also play a part in chronic illness. Research from 2023 suggests that people who experienced childhood trauma are more likely to have one or more chronic health conditions.

Unresolved anger can have some significant health consequences, too. If you have a hard time expressing anger or other negative emotions in productive ways, you may face a higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

How do I know if I have repressed emotions?

There’s no definitive test you can take to know if you have repressed emotions.

However, you might notice a few key indicators if you are repressing emotions. They might show up in your feelings or behavior toward yourself and others.

Recognizing emotional repression in your feelings

People with repressed emotions may have trouble naming and understanding their emotional experiences. This can make it challenging to describe how you feel to others, but it also makes it difficult to recognize when certain aspects of your life aren’t serving your needs.

You might:

regularly feel numb or blank
feel nervous, low, or stressed a lot of the time, even if you aren’t sure why
have a tendency to forget things
experience unease or discomfort when other people tell you about their feelings
feel cheerful and calm most of the time because you never let your thoughts linger on anything significant or upsetting
feel distressed or irritated when someone asks you about your feelings

Recognizing emotional repression in your behavior

Repressed emotions can show up in behavior and affect how you respond to others.

If you have difficulty expressing feelings as you experience them in healthy ways, your emotions can build up until they eventually explode, sometimes in response to very small triggers. This can contribute to problems in your interpersonal relationships.

Emotional repression can affect your ability to:

talk about things that matter to you
build intimate relationships
understand how other people feel
encourage or praise yourself

You might also notice that you:

go along with situations instead of expressing what you want and need
use substances, TV, social media, or other activities to help you numb and avoid feelings you don’t want to explore
spend most of your time with other people to avoid being alone
exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors in response to situations that upset you

Another indicator: Others often describe you as “chill,” “calm,” or “relaxed.”

Is it possible to release them?

If you have trouble expressing or regulating your emotions, talking with a mental health professional can be a good first step.

A therapist can help you explore potential causes of repressed emotions and offer guidance and support as you begin to address these reasons.

Therapy also provides a safe space to:

work on naming and understanding your feelings
increase your comfort level around talking about emotions
learn more helpful methods of emotional regulation

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is one approach that may be particularly beneficial for emotional repression. EFT emphasizes emotional expression as one of the most important components of one’s personal experience and ability to relate to others.

According to EFT theory, people who have difficulty accessing and understanding their feelings typically also find it difficult to enjoy meaningful relationships with others. This approach is often used in couples counseling, but it can also help you work through childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and other mental health symptoms.

Things you can try right now

You can also get started practicing emotional expression on your own by trying these steps:

Check in: Ask yourself how you feel right now. If you have a hard time speaking your emotions at first, try using words or colors in a journal or piece of art. You can even find a song that matches your mood.
Use “I” statements: Practice expressing your feelings with phrases like, “I feel confused. I feel nervous. I feel terrified.”
Focus on the positive: It might seem easier to name and embrace positive emotions at first, and that’s OK. The goal is to get more comfortable with all of your emotions, and small steps help.
Let go of judgment: No matter what emotion you’re feeling, avoid judging yourself or telling yourself you shouldn’t feel a certain way. Instead, try finding a reason for the feeling: “I feel nervous because I’m about to have my yearly performance review.”
Make it a habit: Practice naming and sharing your emotions with the people you feel closest to. Encourage them to share their feelings, too.

Online therapy options

Read our review of the best online therapy options to find the right fit for you.

The bottom line

It’s natural to want to avoid feeling bad. Many people feel at least a little afraid of confronting deep, intense emotions, especially those they link to unpleasant or unwanted experiences.

While it may sound counterintuitive, embracing negative feelings can help improve emotional well-being over time.

Getting more comfortable with your emotions, even the ones that don’t feel great, can help you navigate life’s challenges more successfully while also improving your relationship with yourself and anyone else you care about.

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.

How we reviewed this article:

SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Alhowaymel FM, et al. (2023). Adverse childhood experiences and chronic diseases: identifying a cut-point for ACE scores.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9863315/
Ford BQ, et al. (2018). The psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts: Laboratory, diary, and longitudinal evidence.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5767148/
Krickel B, et al. (2024). A psychological “how-possibly” model of repression.https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15294145.2024.2374237
Patel J, et al. (2019). Consequences of repression of emotion: Physical health, mental health, and general well being.https://openaccesspub.org/international-journal-of-psychotherapy-practice-and-research/article/999
Shimbo D, et al. (2024). Translational research of the acute effects of negative emotions on vascular endothelial health: Findings from a randomized controlled study.https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/JAHA.123.032698
Suttie J. (2019). How to become a scientist of your own emotions.https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_become_a_scientist_of_your_own_emotions

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Medically reviewed by Bethany Juby, PsyD — Written by Crystal Raypole — Updated on October 25, 2024

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