Applying Ruiz's Five Agreements To Your Work Life (Article 3)

Maybe your like

Agree & Join LinkedIn

By clicking Continue to join or sign in, you agree to LinkedIn’s User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy.

Create your free account or sign in to continue your search

Welcome back

Email or phone Password Show Forgot password? Sign in

By clicking Continue to join or sign in, you agree to LinkedIn’s User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy.

New to LinkedIn? Join now

By clicking Continue to join or sign in, you agree to LinkedIn’s User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy.

LinkedIn is better on the app

Don’t have the app? Get it in the Microsoft Store.

Open the app Skip to main content

Applying Ruiz's Five Agreements to Your Work Life (Article 3) — The Fifth Agreement, Copyright (c) 2010 by Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D., Jose Luis Ruiz, and Janet Mills. Reprinted by permission (see below).

This is the third article in a series of five about applying the teachings of don Miguel Ruiz to business. In The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement, Ruiz encourages us to make the following agreements with our true selves:

Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

The third agreement, Don’t make assumptions, may be the most difficult to keep. Humans have a penchant for making mountains of mole hills. We tend to fill the vacuum of silence and absence of firsthand knowledge with a parade of hypothetical scenarios and conjecture. We search for hidden meaning, we fret over the implications, and we worry about the stories that others are creating for us.

These traits are not inherently harmful in small doses, but many are unable to stop themselves from spiraling down a rabbit hole of uncertainty and handwringing. Ruiz says that our imaginative minds invent stories by making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. These stories rob us of our energy and our freedom. When we focus on the truth rather than making assumptions, we recover the energy that we had previously wasted on distorted symbols, false stories, and unnecessary drama.

" If not taking anything personally gives you immunity in the interaction that you have with other people, then not making assumptions gives you immunity in the interaction that you have with yourself..."

don Miguel Ruiz

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS IN BUSINESS

How many times have you heard a teacher or other leader explain a concept and then ask for questions with the old "there are no stupid questions" invitation? You agree with the cliché right up until someone asks the silliest question you have ever heard. I admit to being guilty of occasionally judging another as naïve or ignorant when I should have been applauding his or her courage in asking for clarification.

We all process information differently, shaped by varying educational backgrounds, cultural influences, and life experiences. “Simple” and “complex” are relative terms. Tying a particular series of knots to mend a net is simple for a commercial fisherman, but it may be a complex task for a quantum physicist with no net-mending experience. One who is willing to seek clarification to avoid making an assumption should be admired.

Understanding is key

In his timeless classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey advises us to “Seek first to understand.” Covey explains that, to communicate effectively, we must listen with the intent of understanding instead of with the intent of responding. We engineers are particularly guilty of violating this habit. We are trained to be problem solvers, and we sincerely want to help. We tend to listen until we hear enough key information to begin formulating a solution, and that is where the listening breaks down. Our mind is racing toward the solution. We may continue to hear, but we are not listening.

David Stone, founder of blüStone Marketing and a leading marketing resource for architecture and engineering (AE) firms, points out that well-intentioned AE marketers include the following claim in nearly every proposal or statement of qualifications (SOQ) for a prospective client: “We will exceed your expectations.” Stone prods, “How can you exceed my expectations if you haven’t found out what they are? And while we’re at it, exactly when and how do you determine that you’ve exceeded them and by how much?” First, we must understand.

Following are some thoughts to help avoid making assumptions in business:

Actively listen

While less talking and more listening is a good place to start, sitting like a bump on a log and absorbing words is generally not the most effective listening approach. A better tactic is to, without interrupting the other speaker, ask probing questions that elicit additional details and insight. When we question in this manner and affirm that the message is getting through, we are actively listening. We should also remember to be mindful of the types of questions we ask. “Have you thought of trying this?” is an example of a question that may put the other party on the defensive and make him or her less likely to continue to share. Remember Covey’s observation that our intent should be to understand, not to respond. The opportunity to discuss solutions is after we have been responsive by gaining a complete understanding.

Get the full picture

Where possible, receiving information from multiple sources and perspectives can help us formulate a more accurate and objective picture. Commit the fact-finding time and effort necessary to ensure that you are not making decisions based on partial or skewed information.

Avoid gossip and hearsay

People love to gossip. Even gossip that begins with an element of truth is quickly distorted and exaggerated. Second-hand information is often unreliable. If you are not receiving the information directly from the source, a healthy dose of skepticism is in order. Trust but verify, as the adage goes.

Learn to distinguish opinions (and lies) from facts

Information is available to us at lightning speed compared to previous generations (that is a fact). Much of it is absolute garbage (that is an opinion). Similar to purveyors of gossip discussed above, but even more malevolent, are those who knowingly present opinions, half-truths, and even blatant lies as fact in an effort to persuade our thoughts and actions. As we approach November, can you think of any realm where such tactics have run amok? Disinformation is pervasive. No medium through which we interact to seek or share information is immune. Do not blindly accept something as fact just because you have seen it in writing somewhere or heard it in a sound bite.

Do not blindly accept something as fact just because you have seen it in writing somewhere or heard it in a sound bite.

Put it (all) in writing

I highly recommend that you capture business dealings in a clear agreement, ideally prior to beginning work. Include the responsibilities of each party, deliverables, schedule, and payment terms, along with any stipulations and clarifications upon which the agreement terms were developed. Also include the procedure to be followed for resolving conflicts. The written agreement gives all parties a clear framework for the business relationship, leaving little or nothing to subjective interpretation.

Final thoughts

Micro-managing is essentially assuming that you alone have the best answers and methods in all circumstances. If you control every business decision that your organization/department/team makes, you not only create a productivity bottleneck, you limit the scope of the product or service to your own experience, knowledge and skill set. Instead, ensure that you have the right people on the bus (Collins 2001), then establish frameworks and systems to ensure that the desired work is accomplished while allowing individuals to think independently and collaboratively. This approach opens the door for innovation, improvement, and advancement. Give people a chance to exceed your expectations. When they do, reward them. If they do not, coach them and ensure they have the proper resources at their disposal. Then give them another chance.

Collins, J. (2001). Good to Great. New York, NY. HarperCollins Inc.

Covey, S. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York, NY. Free Press (now Simon & Schuster).

#Leadership, #TheFourAgreements, #donMiguelRuiz, #WednesdayWisdom, #mywaterlegacy

Like Like Celebrate Support Love Insightful Funny Comment Share

To view or add a comment, sign in

Others also viewed

9 Lessons from Steve Jobs on How to Change the World
Charlie Garcia 8y
Understand the Real Road to Professional Success: Reflections from My Life Experiences
Dr.T. Ruban Deva Prakash 1y
Talk the Walk
Neil Mullarkey 1y
Work Principle 2.2; Be crystal clear on what the deal is
Ray Dalio 7y
The Consistency Myth: Why You’re Not Broken, Just Misaligned
Larry Mullne " 6mo
5 Ways To Influence People
Omnia Ellebaedy 2y
Consistency- My chosen superpower
Marilize Smit 7mo
Work Principle 1.2; Have integrity and demand it from others
Ray Dalio 7y
ITS OKAY TO BLOW YOUR OWN TRUMPET
Isaiah Otieno, MKISM, TMS 8mo
The Invisible Ceiling
Tamuna Gabilaia 6mo

Show more Show less

Tag » What Are The 5 Agreements

Sign in to view more content

Welcome back

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS IN BUSINESS

Understanding is key

Actively listen

Get the full picture

Avoid gossip and hearsay

Learn to distinguish opinions (and lies) from facts

Put it (all) in writing

Final thoughts

More articles by Ray Cox

Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen

Always Do Your Best

Applying Ruiz's Five Agreements to Your Work Life (Article 2)

Applying Ruiz's Five Agreements to Your Work Life

LAZY SELLERS BE GONE! 5 STEPS TO ELIMINATING COLD CALLS

Weathering the Storm: 5 Traits of Successful Businesses (Trait 5)

Weathering the Storm: 5 Traits of Successful Businesses (Trait 4)

Weathering the Storm: 5 Traits of Successful Businesses (Trait 3)

Weathering the Storm: 5 Traits of Successful Businesses (Trait 2)

Weathering the Storm: 5 Traits of Successful Businesses

Others also viewed

9 Lessons from Steve Jobs on How to Change the World

Understand the Real Road to Professional Success: Reflections from My Life Experiences

Talk the Walk

Work Principle 2.2; Be crystal clear on what the deal is

The Consistency Myth: Why You’re Not Broken, Just Misaligned

5 Ways To Influence People

Consistency- My chosen superpower

Work Principle 1.2; Have integrity and demand it from others

ITS OKAY TO BLOW YOUR OWN TRUMPET

The Invisible Ceiling

Explore content categories

Contact