Having A Bad Day? Here Are Ten Amazing Two Line Jokes To Cheer You ...

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MANDATORY CREDIT: Blackpool Zoo/Rex Features. nEditorial Use Only. No stock, books, advertising or merchandising without photographer's permission.nMandatory Credit: Photo by Blackpool Zoo/REX (2085344b)nOrangutansnLaughing animals at Blackpool Zoo help cheer up the nation ahead of Blue Monday (21st January) - one of the most depressing days of the year, Britain - 18 Jan 2013nFULL TEXT: http://www.rexfeatures.com/nanolink/jok9 nnJudging by these pictures life at Blackpool Zoo is a laugh-a-minute.nnAll grinning for the camera, the animals are helping cheer up the nation ahead of Blue Monday (21st January) - one of the most depressing days of the year. nnAnd their animal antics are enough to bring a smile to anyone's face.nnFrom smiling orang-utans and beaming tigers to chortling camels these wild residents are bound to raise a smile on the dreaded Blue Monday. nnWith super-sized credit card bills coming through the letterbox, Christmas is a distant memory and summer still seems out of reach as we battle our way through the coldest two months of the year.n
These guys get it (Picture: Blackpool Zoo/Rex Features)

‘Brevity is the soul of wit,’ said Shakespeare, and it’s fair to say that if he’d been alive in the time of Twitter he would have been absolutely #killingit.

Reddit users obviously knew how to channel a bit of the English playwright’s spirit when asked for the best two-line jokes they knew, as nerdy hilarity quickly ensued.

Monday is only one sleep away, so time to be cheered up by 10 of the best – enjoy.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

http://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/indiana-jones-popcorn.gif

I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/55f2dddaf9f785986e25d77f55dbb102/tumblr_myj78oOVRl1r7tu05o1_500.gif

And the Lord said unto John: ‘Come forth and you will receive eternal life’. But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/5bee1b05bfdbf8945d8b6afb119aedfe/tumblr_mh5wobcqPS1qltuf1o1_500.gif

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

http://myreactiongifs.com/gifs/nicolascageconfusedemotions.gif

How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/f7293f2d78202ab0a9820343e33d47c3/tumblr_n0tgki53uY1rwj9abo1_500.gif

I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.

http://hugelolcdn.com/comments/1555256.gif

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

http://media.tumblr.com/838e77a5e35606195268094ad0ba01f3/tumblr_mkqrr6Y66d1sn5939o1_400.gif

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsrjkb151B1r3v6f2o1_500.gif

My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/4df7199b2d35d6c3f634aefa56ea622d/tumblr_n8tbr9emEp1rv7pklo1_500.gif

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