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How to Deal with Feeling Stupid and Improve Your Self-Esteem Download ArticleExplore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Figure out why you feel this way. 2 Give yourself permission to mess up. 3 Don't take yourself too seriously. 4 Change your negative thought to a positive one. 5 Re-define your idea of intelligence. 6 Focus on the things that you're great at. 7 Ask for explanations if you're confused. 8 Use checklists to prevent basic mistakes. 9 Keep learning and move on from your mistakes. 10 Reach out for help from a mental health professional. + Show 7 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Related Articles References Article Summary Co-authored by Jule Kim and Jessica Gibson
Last Updated: November 6, 2025 Fact Checked
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This article was co-authored by Jule Kim and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Jule Kim is an executive leadership coach based in Edmonds, WA. With over 5 years of experience, Jule is the founder of Seattle Executive Coach, providing coaching that helps executives overcome imposter syndrome and build confidence to become strong, trusted leaders. Jule is an ICF Professional Certified Coach, specializing in communication, leadership development, executive presence, emotional intelligence, career purpose, and more. She is a public speaker, workshop facilitator, and author who released a portable deck, Self-Love Affirmations & Reflections, that can be incorporated into a daily ritual and invites intentional reflection and encourages positive self-talk. There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 179,389 times.
You can be your own worst critic. Maybe you said the wrong thing to someone, you made a mistake at work, or you feel like everyone's smarter than you at school. This doesn't mean you're stupid—everyone feels this way at some point! To help you turn your negative thoughts around, we've come up with positive suggestions that you can start trying today.
Steps
1
Figure out why you feel this way.
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If you often feel stupid, think back to your earliest memory of this hurtful feeling. You might have had a relative tell you that you were dumb or maybe you grew up with parents who made you feel bad. Some people who have low self-esteem or anxiety might feel stupid. It's important to identify why you feel this way so you can address it.[1]XResearch source
Even if you make a silly mistake and feel stupid, you might find that you feel this way because you were embarrassed in front of classmates or co-workers.
Advertisement 2
Give yourself permission to mess up.
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Being afraid to make mistakes can make you feel stupid, but you're not. Wanting to succeed is a natural desire, but you won't always do things right on the first try. Just because you need to fix something or do something again doesn't mean you're not smart. Tell yourself that it's alright to make mistakes and that it doesn't make you less intelligent.[2]X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business ReviewOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
This is especially important if your fear of feeling stupid is stopping you from trying new things or you're turning down opportunities.
3
Don't take yourself too seriously.
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If you make a mistake or don't know something, don't feel ashamed. Acknowledge that you may need to learn something or do something different in the future, but don't take it to heart. Look for the humor in the situation—after all, no one's perfect.[3]X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business ReviewOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
For example, if you trip while walking up to your desk, instead of quietly thinking to yourself how stupid you are, make a joke! You might say, "Sorry everybody, this is my first time walking." A joke can break the tension and you can move on.
Advertisement 4
Change your negative thought to a positive one.
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You're probably your own biggest critic so stop beating yourself up! When you notice yourself thinking, "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that," immediately stop yourself. Then, ask yourself if you'd say that to someone else. If you wouldn't, then don't be so harsh on yourself! Instead, move on with a positive mindset.[4]X Trustworthy Source Johns Hopkins MedicineOfficial resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital Go to source
For example, if accidentally did the wrong assignment and turned it in, just tell yourself that you got some extra practice with that lesson. Then, move on and do the one you were supposed to.
Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is a frustrating and discouraging phenomenon that occurs when people feel they’re a complete fraud. While viewing everyone else as skilled and qualified, someone with imposter syndrome views themselves as an unqualified phony who will inevitably be found out. Do you suspect that you could be a victim of imposter syndrome? Take this quiz to get a better idea of where you stand. 1 of 12
My boss just gave me a raise for all of my hard work, but I feel guilty. Someone else deserves it more!
Agree.
Slightly agree.
Slightly disagree.
Disagree.
Next 5
Re-define your idea of intelligence.
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It's easy to feel stupid if you don't test well or get high marks. The critical thing to remind yourself is that being smart isn't simply a number. Intelligence is about getting new information and skills—essentially, it's the learning process. Part of being smart is learning so you get what you want out of life.[5]XResearch source
Instead of saying, "I'm too stupid to get that job," you might sign up for a course so you're qualified for the position.
Advertisement 6
Focus on the things that you're great at.
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Make a list to remind yourself of your skills and great qualities. Whenever you're feeling bad about yourself, read through the list.[6]X Expert Source Jule KimExecutive Leadership ExpertExpert Interview This is a simple, but really effective way to turn the focus from your negative feelings to an encouraging, supportive mindset.[7]X Trustworthy Source Cleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
For example, you might write that you're really great at leading people or that you make friends easily. If you're having trouble coming up with things, ask your friends and family to share ideas.
You might try to add something positive to the list every time you read it.
7
Ask for explanations if you're confused.
Download Article
Don't try to muddle through a project—ask for clarification. Have you ever gotten an assignment or project and felt totally confused? You're probably not alone—maybe your boss or teacher didn't give enough detail or they spoke too quickly for you to follow. It's completely fine to ask them to repeat and explain what they're looking for.[8]X Expert Source Jule KimExecutive Leadership ExpertExpert Interview It doesn't mean you're dumb, you just need clarification![9]X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business ReviewOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
Think of it this way—it's better to spend a few seconds getting a thorough overview of the project before you start rather than spending time re-doing it or fixing mistakes later.
Advertisement 8
Use checklists to prevent basic mistakes.
Download Article
Follow a simple checklist or guideline so you remember what to do. Everyone gets distracted or makes mistakes and this can make you look stupid. If you frequently mess up and feel like it's reflecting poorly on you, come up with a checklist or list of facts that help you.[10]XResearch source
For example, if you work in a coffee shop and have to clean equipment, it can help a lot if you've got a step-by-step cleaning list.
Say you need a quick reminder about how to place an order for your company. Set a list with a few key bullet points near your computer for easy reference.
9
Keep learning and move on from your mistakes.
Download Article
If there's a gap in your knowledge that's bothering you, learn about it. By taking charge of what you don't know, you're empowering yourself. Sure, you'll probably forget things or mess up along the way, but don't let that stop you. Studies show that if you approach learning without being afraid of errors, you'll learn more effectively.[11]XResearch source
For example, if you fail a test, go over it later to see what you missed and how you can do better next time. The better prepared you are, the less nervous you'll be next time.[12]X Expert Source Donna Novak, Psy.DLicensed Clinical PsychologistExpert Interview
Advertisement 10
Reach out for help from a mental health professional.
Download Article
If you're still struggling with feeling unintelligent, talk with a therapist. You may need to tackle your low-self esteem, anxiety, or another mental health issue and they can help! Many therapists use cognitive behavioral therapy where you challenge negative thoughts and recognize why you have them in the first place.[13]X Trustworthy Source American Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Even just talking with friends or family members can help, too. They'll be able to reassure you of your great qualities.
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Co-authored by: Jule Kim Executive Leadership Expert This article was co-authored by Jule Kim and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Jule Kim is an executive leadership coach based in Edmonds, WA. With over 5 years of experience, Jule is the founder of Seattle Executive Coach, providing coaching that helps executives overcome imposter syndrome and build confidence to become strong, trusted leaders. Jule is an ICF Professional Certified Coach, specializing in communication, leadership development, executive presence, emotional intelligence, career purpose, and more. She is a public speaker, workshop facilitator, and author who released a portable deck, Self-Love Affirmations & Reflections, that can be incorporated into a daily ritual and invites intentional reflection and encourages positive self-talk. This article has been viewed 179,389 times. 46 votes - 62% Co-authors: 11Updated: November 6, 2025 Views: 179,389 Categories: Psychological ResilienceArticle SummaryX
Whether you made a mistake at work or you’re struggling with your grades in school, it can be easy to get down on yourself. But everyone messes up or faces challenges sometimes, and it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid. Challenge negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with something more positive and realistic. For example, if you did poorly on a test, remind yourself that everyone has to start somewhere and that you probably just need more practice. It can also help to make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Even if you struggle in one area, there’s probably something else that you’re really good at! And if you’re having trouble understanding something, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective. Did this summary help you?YesNo
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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Jule Kim Executive Leadership Expert 46 votes - 62% Click a star to vote Co-authors: 11Updated: November 6, 2025 Views: 179,389
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Download Article Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Figure out why you feel this way. 2 Give yourself permission to mess up. 3 Don't take yourself too seriously. 4 Change your negative thought to a positive one. 5 Re-define your idea of intelligence. 6 Focus on the things that you're great at. 7 Ask for explanations if you're confused. 8 Use checklists to prevent basic mistakes. 9 Keep learning and move on from your mistakes. 10 Reach out for help from a mental health professional. + Show 7 more... - Show less... Other Sections VideoWATCH NOW Related Articles References Article Summary Co-authored by Jule Kim and Jessica Gibson 
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Co-authored by: Jule Kim Executive Leadership Expert This article was co-authored by Jule Kim and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson. Jule Kim is an executive leadership coach based in Edmonds, WA. With over 5 years of experience, Jule is the founder of Seattle Executive Coach, providing coaching that helps executives overcome imposter syndrome and build confidence to become strong, trusted leaders. Jule is an ICF Professional Certified Coach, specializing in communication, leadership development, executive presence, emotional intelligence, career purpose, and more. She is a public speaker, workshop facilitator, and author who released a portable deck, Self-Love Affirmations & Reflections, that can be incorporated into a daily ritual and invites intentional reflection and encourages positive self-talk. This article has been viewed 179,389 times. 46 votes - 62% Co-authors: 11 Updated: November 6, 2025 Views: 179,389 Categories: Psychological Resilience Article SummaryX
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If you often feel stupid, think back to your earliest memory of this hurtful feeling. You might have had a relative tell you that you were dumb or maybe you grew up with parents who made you feel bad. Some people who have low self-esteem or anxiety might feel stupid. It's important to identify why you feel this way so you can address it.[1] 
Being afraid to make mistakes can make you feel stupid, but you're not. Wanting to succeed is a natural desire, but you won't always do things right on the first try. Just because you need to fix something or do something again doesn't mean you're not smart. Tell yourself that it's alright to make mistakes and that it doesn't make you less intelligent.[2] 
If you make a mistake or don't know something, don't feel ashamed. Acknowledge that you may need to learn something or do something different in the future, but don't take it to heart. Look for the humor in the situation—after all, no one's perfect.[3] 
You're probably your own biggest critic so stop beating yourself up! When you notice yourself thinking, "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that," immediately stop yourself. Then, ask yourself if you'd say that to someone else. If you wouldn't, then don't be so harsh on yourself! Instead, move on with a positive mindset.[4] 
It's easy to feel stupid if you don't test well or get high marks. The critical thing to remind yourself is that being smart isn't simply a number. Intelligence is about getting new information and skills—essentially, it's the learning process. Part of being smart is learning so you get what you want out of life.[5] 
Make a list to remind yourself of your skills and great qualities. Whenever you're feeling bad about yourself, read through the list.[6] This is a simple, but really effective way to turn the focus from your negative feelings to an encouraging, supportive mindset.[7] 
Don't try to muddle through a project—ask for clarification. Have you ever gotten an assignment or project and felt totally confused? You're probably not alone—maybe your boss or teacher didn't give enough detail or they spoke too quickly for you to follow. It's completely fine to ask them to repeat and explain what they're looking for.[8] It doesn't mean you're dumb, you just need clarification![9] 
Follow a simple checklist or guideline so you remember what to do. Everyone gets distracted or makes mistakes and this can make you look stupid. If you frequently mess up and feel like it's reflecting poorly on you, come up with a checklist or list of facts that help you.[10] 
If there's a gap in your knowledge that's bothering you, learn about it. By taking charge of what you don't know, you're empowering yourself. Sure, you'll probably forget things or mess up along the way, but don't let that stop you. Studies show that if you approach learning without being afraid of errors, you'll learn more effectively.[11] 
If you're still struggling with feeling unintelligent, talk with a therapist. You may need to tackle your low-self esteem, anxiety, or another mental health issue and they can help! Many therapists use cognitive behavioral therapy where you challenge negative thoughts and recognize why you have them in the first place.[13]