How To Develop A Close Relationship With Someone New: 12 Steps

Home » How To Get Closer To Someone » How To Develop A Close Relationship With Someone New: 12 Steps

Maybe your like

Skip to ContentQuizzes
  • Home
  • Random
  • Browse Articles
  • Quizzes & Games
  • All QuizzesHot
  • Love Quizzes
  • Personality Quizzes
  • Fun Games
  • Dating Simulator
  • Learn Something New
  • Forums
  • Courses
  • Happiness Hub
  • Explore More
  • Support wikiHow
  • About wikiHow
  • Log in / Sign up
Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Develop a Close Relationship with Someone New PDF download Download Article Co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Last Updated: May 19, 2025 References

PDF download Download Article
  • Finding Friends and Partners
    • |
  • Communication and Bonding Tips
    • |
  • Trust-Building Tips
    • |
  • Expert Q&A
    • |
  • Tips
|Show more |Show less X

This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 114,010 times.

Whether you're looking to start a friendship or a romantic relationship, learning how to develop a close relationship with someone new can be challenging. Often the initial hurdle is finding a like-minded person, but in order to develop a closer bond with someone, you need to be open, honest, and caring. Trust is the key difference between an acquaintance and a close relationship. Here's how to find new friends, communicate on a deeper level, and build trust in order to bring the relationship closer.

Steps

Part 1 Part 1 of 3:

Finding Friends and Partners

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Identify someone that you want to get to know better. 1 Identify someone that you want to get to know better. Initiate conversation about common interests, or questions about them. Whether in a group setting or one-on-one, begin on a lighthearted level.[1]
    • Consider using the F.O.R.D. technique, by focusing the conversation on the following topics: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams (Hopes).
    • See a conversation as two sided. Be interested in what others say, and be interesting by relating to others. Share stories, but allow others an opportunity to speak. Be friendly and personable.
    • Even if you’re more of an introvert than an extrovert, by simply being positive in the conversation, and showing genuine interest in what the person is saying, you are more likely to develop a closer connection.
  2. Step 2 Find ways to interact with that person one-on-one. 2 Find ways to interact with that person one-on-one. It can be hard to develop a deep relationship with a group. Cultivating closer friendships and relationships often requires one-on-one settings. This may involve doing something outside of work, school, or home.[2]
    • Invite someone to lunch, coffee, or a hang-out spot.
    • Ask them to go on a hike or walk, or some other outdoor activity.
    • Go to a bar for drinks
    • Do activities that make you feel like your best self.[3]
    • If that person agrees, that’s a good sign that they are interested in also getting to know you, and giving you a chance. If they decline, they may be busy, or less interested in a close relationship.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 288 wikiHow readers how they build a deeper connection with someone, and 55% of them agreed that the best way to strengthen their bond is by spending quality time together face-to-face. [Take Poll] Whether searching for a romantic partner or a good friend, spending time together is the best way to get closer.
    Advertisement
  3. Step 3 Take an interest in exploring new things with someone. 3 Take an interest in exploring new things with someone. Getting out of your ordinary routine can often help you to be closer with someone. If the new person is interested in things that you normally would be less likely to try, consider trying it. New experiences can help you find new friends, and can possibly help you to be more open and interesting to others. Consider going out of your comfort zone in these ways:
    • Go to a local food festival rather than a restaurant.
    • Take a day trip to a local state or national park.
    • Go to a museum that's not so traditional, like a radio and television museum or a sports hall of fame.
    • Consider going to a local comedy show or a play rather than the movies.
    • Go to a sporting event that might be outside the usual.
    • Take a class together — art, fitness, cooking, or something else that seems different.
  4. Step 4 Search for a partner. 4 Search for a partner. Many successful romantic relationships are not just based on sexual compatibility, but also on a close friendship. It's important that the person you're dating makes you feel attractive and loved, but it's also key that you can communicate about important things.
    • Try online dating. This is an opportunity to meet a lot people, and see if you hit it off before meeting up in person.
    • Go to parties, events, and social gatherings with the goal of having one-on-one time with someone interesting.
  5. Step 5 Venture out on your own. 5 Venture out on your own. Consider doing activities on your own, without the people who you usually hang out with. Doing things independently may push you to talk more with new people, and get you to open up more than usual.
    • You're more likely to develop a relationship with someone new if you're not hanging out with a friend already.
    6. Advertisement
Part 2 Part 2 of 3:

Communication and Bonding Tips

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Be a good... 1 Be a good listener. Don’t be distracted and trying to multi-task, especially when trying to have a closer relationship with someone new. They may see your lack of attention or focus as a sign that you are not interested in getting to know them. Consider these ways to show you’re interested in them:[4]
    • Actively listen. Give your undivided attention to the new person. Be present.
    • Keep eye contact and give non-verbal cues of understanding, such as saying "uh-huh" or nodding your head.
    • Paraphrase what they are saying, and give empathetic responses. Consider saying, “It sounds like you had a tough day after taking that final exam. I know it can be stressful. I just had a tough exam last week.”
  2. Step 2 Spend time together. 2 Spend time together. There is a level of comfort that is built through simply being in the same place, doing something together, and it's an important step toward reaching a place where it feels natural and safe to start having deeper conversations. When watching a movie together, for instance, you're not necessarily talking or relating, but you're having a shared experience and getting used to being in each other's presence.
    • Include the other person in your life. Invite them to group outings, sporting events, to join teams or clubs, or to hang out in the park.
    EXPERT TIP John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. John Keegan John Keegan Dating Coach

    Don't make a decision based on a brief first impression. It's always important to give people a chance—true connection thrives on shared values, as well as shared time together.

  3. Step 3 Discuss difficult topics. 3 Discuss difficult topics.[5] These topics should not likely be discussed the first time you meet someone new, but after you have established a one-on-one rapport with them. Being open to talking about painful topics can bring your closer to someone. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in a deep way. Trust someone new from time to time, as you may feel better in the long run. [6]
    • One of the most important topics can be about values and beliefs. By understanding and having a common bond over values and beliefs, you are likely to become closer to that person.
    • Stressors about upbringing and recent personal crises may lead to a deeper understanding, as sharing fears or insecurities can be difficult but also cathartic.
    • Consider asking questions like, "What was it like for you as a kid?" or "Are you close with your parents?" Finding out about someone's thoughts and feelings is key.
  4. Step 4 Avoid conversations that are only about you. 4 Avoid conversations that are only about you. Make sure both of you get to share what each wants to talk about, and give each person equal opportunity to speak their mind. One-sided conversations may make the new person feel underappreciated, or not important.
    • Deeper relationships are based on respecting each other, and valuing each other’s input.
    • Consider saying, "That's what it has been like for me last week, what's it been like for you?" or "I want to hear what you've been going through."
    • Giving someone the opportunity to speak without interruption is key.
    5. Advertisement
Part 3 Part 3 of 3:

Trust-Building Tips

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Allow yourself to be vulnerable. 1 Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable may seem negative and can be scary, but it is actually a positive way to open yourself to a closer and deeper relationship with someone. Vulnerability involves revealing a part of yourself that is hard to talk about, but important to share with those your trust and is essential to building a close relationship.[7]
    • Learn to be emotionally honest. While this may be difficult in large group settings, it’s important to confide in people in smaller or one-on-one settings about your worries and fears.
    • Don’t dwell on the negative. Particularly if this is someone new, it’s important to focus on both the positive and negative, rather than just one or the other.
    • When someone asks you, "How's your family?" instead of saying, "They're fine," be open about what is bothering you. You don't need to turn the conversation into a venting session, but it can help someone to see what you're going through. You could say instead, "They're pretty well. My mom is sick, but we're all trying to pull together and support her."
  2. Step 2 Gain someone's trust... 2 Gain someone's trust. Be a dependable friend or romantic partner. Don’t always put off calling or texting someone new due to other priorities. Make time for the special people in your life.
    • Being reliable is a key way to build trust. It shows that you do what you say, and that your words are not empty promises.
    • Don't play games with someone you like, or possibly love. Be there for them.
    • Make an effort to be on-time, or follow through with plans. You will lose someone’s trust if you fail to “honor your word.”
    • For example if you know that you'll be running late, be courteous and call or text the person you're meeting. And, if it's likely that you can't make an event, tell them at least 24 hours ahead of time.
  3. Step 3 Make that person a priority. 3 Make that person a priority. When you make someone a priority, by calling them back in a timely manner, showing up to a scheduled event on-time, or giving your undivided attention, this will make a big impact on how close you are with that person. [8]
    • Make someone feel valued. If you show through your words and actions that this person is both interesting and important, it is likely that the person will respond the same way. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
    • If this is a romantic relationship, let someone know you're thinking of them. While it's important to have boundaries in any relationship, fostering love by making someone feel special is key.
    • Consider giving a small gift for special occasions, or even just for times when you think they really could use the support.
    • Offer your help if they are stressed, worried, or in need of some assistance. Being handy and helpful can make a big difference in a relationship.
    4. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question
  • Question How do you develop a closer relationship? Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Therapist Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Therapist Expert Answer The best advice I can give is to be yourself, have meaningful conversations, and do activities together that you both enjoy. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 0 Helpful 6
Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Tips

  • The best way to get closer to someone is to be yourself![9] Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
  • Avoid arguments when you experience a difference in views. Fighting is not a good way to develop a new relationship. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Build Healthy Interpersonal RelationshipsHow toBuild Healthy Interpersonal Relationships Start a RelationshipHow to Get Into a New Relationship: Advice for a Stronger Connection Make Close FriendsHow toMake Close Friends Get the Love of Your LifeHow toGet the Love of Your Life Have a Deep ConversationHow toHave a Deep Conversation Get to Know Someone BetterThe Best Ways to Get to Know Someone on a Deeper Level Find LoveHow toFind Love Get over the Awkward Stage in a RelationshipHow toGet over the Awkward Stage in a Relationship Fall in LoveA Complete Guide to Falling In Love & Building Your Connection Over Time Find Your Ideal PartnerHow toFind Your Ideal Partner Become Good Friends With SomeoneHow toBecome Good Friends With Someone Be LovedHow toBe Loved Be in a Relationship for the First TimeStarting Your First Relationship: 14 Tips to Build a Strong & Lasting Connection Find Friends That Share InterestsHow toFind Friends That Share Interests Advertisement

References

  1. ↑ http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife
  2. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
  3. ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-ways-to-build-better-relationships-with-everyone/
  5. ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview
  6. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/healthy-relationships
  7. ↑ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-being-vulnerable-can-expand-your-world/
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201210/how-to-make-your-close-relationship-closer
  9. ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview

About This Article

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Co-authored by: Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Therapist This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. This article has been viewed 114,010 times. 7 votes - 85% Co-authors: 21 Updated: May 19, 2025 Views: 114,010 Categories: Relationships Article SummaryX

Developing a close relationship with someone new is all about spending time with them and building their trust. Have deeper conversations with them about both of your beliefs, backgrounds and hopes and dreams for the future. This will help you empathize with them and understand how they think. Make sure you're honest with them and share your own thoughts and beliefs. To build their trust, follow through on your promises as much as you can. If they're stressed or something's bothering them, ask how you can help and support them. As you get to know each other better, you can also introduce them to your other friends and family, which will show that you trust them and bring your lives closer together. For more tips from our co-author, including how to meet interesting people, read on! Did this summary help you?YesNo

In other languagesSpanish
  • Print
  • Send fan mail to authors
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 114,010 times.

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Co-authored by: Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Therapist Co-authors: 21 Updated: May 19, 2025 Views: 114,010 85% of readers found this article helpful. 7 votes - 85% Click a star to add your vote

Quizzes & Games

Are You Best Friends QuizAre You Best Friends QuizTake QuizHow Good is Our Chemistry QuizHow Good is Our Chemistry QuizTake QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizWhat Is My Type of Girl QuizWhat Is My Type of Girl QuizTake QuizWhat's My Dating Style?What's My Dating Style?Take QuizWhat Are the Chances Your Love Will Last?What Are the Chances Your Love Will Last?Take Quiz

You Might Also Like

Build Healthy Interpersonal RelationshipsHow toBuild Healthy Interpersonal RelationshipsStart a RelationshipHow to Get Into a New Relationship: Advice for a Stronger ConnectionMake Close FriendsHow toMake Close FriendsGet the Love of Your LifeHow toGet the Love of Your Life

Featured Articles

110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & Icebreakers110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & IcebreakersHow Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse?How Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse? Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)How to Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)What Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerWhat Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerLove AnalyzerLove AnalyzerSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic IdeasSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic Ideas

Trending Articles

Make OutHow toMake OutWhat Song Was #1 On My Birthday?What Song Was #1 On My Birthday?How Many People Had a Crush on Me This Year? Find Out HereHow Many People Had a Crush on Me This Year? Find Out HereBest Personality TestBest Personality TestDo I Have Common Sense QuizDo I Have Common Sense QuizDaily Horoscope (All Signs): What Do The Stars Predict Today?✩⟡˚₊‧Daily Horoscope (All Signs): What Do The Stars Predict Today?✩⟡˚₊‧

Featured Articles

Exercise Your BrainHow toExercise Your BrainBe a Fun Person to Hang out WithHow toBe a Fun Person to Hang out WithWhat Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?What Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?Develop Productive HabitsHow toDevelop Productive HabitsPractice Self CareHow toPractice Self CareWhat Song Matches Your Life Right Now?What Song Matches Your Life Right Now?

Featured Articles

Your 2026 Vision: What Does Next Year Hold?Your 2026 Vision: What Does Next Year Hold?Understanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)Understanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)Type A B C D Personality TestType A B C D Personality Test250+ Messages to Reassure Your Partner (For Him & Her)250+ Messages to Reassure Your Partner (For Him & Her)What Is My Favorite Color QuizWhat Is My Favorite Color Quiz215+ Funny & Creative Personalized Vanity Plate Ideas215+ Funny & Creative Personalized Vanity Plate Ideas

Watch Articles

Deep Clean Your Kitchen Sink (& Keep It Clean)How to Deep Clean Your Kitchen Sink (& Keep It Clean) Curl Your Hair: 8 Easy & Quick WaysHow to Curl Your Hair: 8 Easy & Quick WaysThicken Sauce with FlourHow toThicken Sauce with Flour Brighten Up White Shirts and Other GarmentsHow to Brighten Up White Shirts and Other Garments Cook White Rice without a Rice CookerHow to Cook White Rice without a Rice Cooker Clean Out the Inside of a Glass Bottle (With or Without a Brush)How to Clean Out the Inside of a Glass Bottle (With or Without a Brush)

Trending Articles

Compatibility TestCompatibility TestWhat Am I Craving QuizWhat Am I Craving Quiz150 Unique & Sentimental Ways to Say “Happy New Year”150 Unique & Sentimental Ways to Say “Happy New Year”30+ New Year’s Eve Games to Keep Your NYE Party Going30+ New Year’s Eve Games to Keep Your NYE Party GoingWhich Hogwarts House Do You Truly Belong In?Which Hogwarts House Do You Truly Belong In?Toxic Family TestToxic Family Test

Quizzes & Games

What Is My Love Personality QuizWhat Is My Love Personality QuizTake QuizWhen Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizWhen Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizTake QuizWill I Ever Find Love QuizWill I Ever Find Love QuizTake QuizAm I Ready For A Relationship QuizAm I Ready For A Relationship QuizTake QuizWhat Is My Love Life Looking Like QuizWhat Is My Love Life Looking Like QuizTake QuizAm I Clingy QuizAm I Clingy QuizTake Quiz wikiHow
  • Categories
  • Relationships
wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.
  • Home
  • About wikiHow
  • Experts
  • Jobs
  • Contact Us
  • Site Map
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Do Not Sell or Share My Info
  • Not Selling Info
  • Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the free weekly newsletter

wikiHow's Best Advice on Dating & Love

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --626

Tag » How To Get Closer To Someone