The Surprising Benefit To Teaching Kids High Five

I’m not a huge fan of high fives. Never have been.

My husband spent the past two years trying to “convert” me to high five him over every little thing. I kept reminding him that I was his wife, not his bro. And that high fives just weren’t my thing. Why must we high five over everything?

I grilled a burger. High five.

I took a shower. High five.

Hockey is on TV. High five.

Seriously. It was driving me nuts. And the more it irritated me, the more he seemed to find humor in asking me to high five over everything. He warned me up and down though: One day he would teach kids to high five, and then I would be forced to high five. Because who would deny little kids of a high five?

There’s a bigger issue that changed my mind.

If you stick around this military wife blog long enough, you probably heard about my son’s major biting issue, as well as his speech delay. For about a year, he incessantly bit other children, many times without provocation. He bit both out of excitement and frustration. The speech delay and the aggressive biting likely went hand in hand.

Thankfully, several child development specialists screened my son to see he qualified for early intervention speech therapy (he did), and during all the screening appointments, we received support and professional advice regarding the biting and aggressive behavior.

The speech therapist offered a brilliant idea.

The speech therapist helped us develop a strategy to help our son stop aggressive behavior towards other kids. She shared that each time my son attempted to bite another child—out of aggression, excitement or whatever—that we should tell him this:

“We don’t bite people. We high five instead. Show me a high five.”

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

It’s brilliant because we tried it, and it actually worked REALLY quickly. It’s so simple, yet so effective. Each time we were at the park or a play group and I could tell he was about to bite, I reminded him to high five, repeating the exact words the speech therapist recommended:

“We don’t bite people. We high five instead. Show me a high five.”

And then he does!

The best part?

Any parent or caregiver can use this with any child who struggling with biting, hitting, kicking or other type of aggressive behavior.

And high five is a skill that almost all small children already know or can easily learn. When my son reaches his hand out to high five another child, the other child almost always high fives right back.

It’s also brilliant as because it allows small children to connect with each other. I can only imagine that my little boy is sitting there thinking,

“Wow. I wanted to play or interact with another kid and he wanted to play back with me too!”

What an encouraging, self-confidence booster for a child struggling with social skills. In many ways, my son conveyed so much frustration in social situations. He bit other kids, and they were horrified. He always looked incredibly perplexed, sad and defeated–despite our consistent biting and behavior strategy–as to why no one would play with him.

My husband was right.

High fives are cool and they actually serve a great purpose, especially for small children. Because whether your child has aggressive tendencies or not, this skill can help kids interact well with one another safely in all sorts of different situations.

As crazy as it sounds, I’m going to wholeheartedly admit that my husband was right. He would successfully “convert” me to high five.

And it would happen in a way I least expected.

Now that deserves a high five.

Want more on toddlers?

• What No One Tells You About Parenting Toddler Boys
• How to Tell Your Toddler “No” (without actually saying “no”)
• The Secret Only Moms of Toddlers Really Know
• 5 Sample Daily Toddler Schedules From Real Moms
• Top 18 Bath Toys for Toddlers That Make Bath Time FUN

What do you think about teaching kids to high five? Let’s chat in the comments!