What Does Feeling Vulnerable Mean? (Perhaps Not What You Think)

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what is feeling vulnerable

By: spaztacular

Letting ourselves feel happy is often a way to feel more vulnerable, not less. For example, if we dare to love someone, we are vulnerable to the pain of being rejected.

So happy or sad, vulnerability happens. Avoiding it in an effort to feel good doesn’t work.

What is true here is that vulnerability without discernment can indeed lead to feeling miserable. Sharing your deepest self with someone you know is emotionally abusive or emotionally unavailable can veer into self-abuse over healthy vulnerability, or can be a sign of borderline personality disorder.

3. I don’t have time for all that emotional stuff.

There are all sorts of excuses we can come up with to avoid being emotionally vulnerable – we don’t have the time, it’s not safe, it’s for other people, but not us. But these excuses are a way of trying to avoid feelings we are scared of or ashamed about.

Researcher and author Brené Brown, perhaps the most famous commentator today on vulnerability, writes that “we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” And aren’t those worth making time for?

4. I need to be strong to survive, and vulnerability is weakness.

Being emotionally vulnerable undoubtedly has its risks. It means letting someone see who we really are, knowing that this means we risk being rejected or feeling abandoned.

It often means risking triggering old memories and unprocessed childhood pain, too.

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