What To Text When She Doesn't Text Back (Just Copy Paste These!)

It’s upsetting when a girl doesn’t reply to your text, isn’t it?

You text her, she replies a few times and then poof… She stops responding altogether. Or maybe she just never replies at all.

It’s not uncommon.

But worry not, there are many texts you can send to make her text back.I share a system that will give you the highest chances of rekindling your interaction.

To begin with, remember this: don’t take a few unanswered texts as a personal rejection.No matter the looks, skills, or mate value, everybody has been there before. Countless times :).

Now let’s start by defining the “she stopped replying” situation:

When Can You Consider Her “Non-Replying”?

I will define a woman as having gone AWOL when:

1. She doesn’t answer after two of your texts
2. She doesn’t text back after two days

Now there will be plenty of women that will text you back after a few weeks, days… or even months (yep!).

Here’s an example:

But as a rule of thumb, use the two above as they will cover 95% of your texting situations.

Why Two Texts Are the Threshold

If two texts go unanswered a third text is a big no-no.If you send a third text, she will back-rationalize that if she hasn’t replied so far it’s because she didn’t like you (called “sense-making” in psychology).

So the rule of thumb is: two unanswered texts and that medium has been “burned.” You can’t use it anymore.

What do you do, then?

Read on:

Contents

• 1. Drop Texts And Call Her
• 2. Switch Texting Medium
• 3. Send A Value-Giving Text
• 4. “Make Your Move” Text
• 5. Drop It… Then Ping Her
• 6. “I Am Gone” Text (Scarcity Principle)
• 7. “I’m Worried About You” Text
• 8. Text Her 3 Dots
  • Text Example
• 9. Use Some Text Flirting
• #10. Fix Texting With Personality

1. Drop Texts And Call Her

Bring back the good vibes

The call is probably the first thing I’d go for after two unanswered messages.It does a few great things for you:

Why Calling Works

1. Opens a new channel with a clean slate
2. Shows you’re not afraid of calling
3. Brings back the good vibes
4. Some women prefer calls

Here is an example, and notice that one month and a half had passed between our last text:

Let’s dig deeper:Voice addresses a common reason why she hasn’t replied: dissipation. When you first met there were good feelings, but they dissipated and now you’re just a few lines of text on her phone.The phone call, with your voice and conversation, is exactly what can bring back those good feelings in full force.

The last reason is that some women aren’t into texting (mostly older and/or very busy). They consider it a time-wasting and “childlike” medium.When you call these women they will finally see you as “man enough” to pick up the phone.

If She Picks Up

When she picks up it’s a bit like starting from a clean slate.

I’ve had women propose themselves that we should meet after a good phone call, and the unanswered texts become a thing of the past.

Just to be sure though, avoid writing her again on the “burned” medium after the call.

Few Quick Calling Tips

• Call while walking
• Call in elated states (after workout or accomplishment)
• After a few drinks

• Have a couple of stories at hand
• Keep it brisk/entertaining
• Make sure you end the conversation

2. Switch Texting Medium

Begin with a clean slate

Of course, the call might go unanswered as well.Or… let’s be honest, you might be too nervous for the call. No shame, brother :).

If you did call, leave a message on voicemail—make it cool and nonchalant, tell her to call you back.After a few days, if she hasn’t called back, then switch medium again with a text.

The best one is going from texts to WhatsApp (or Line or Kakao or whatever is popular).

Why It Works

• She won’t notice the old unanswered texts
• Doesn’t fully realize you’re chasing
• Won’t feel guilty for not replying so far
• Apps are free (some gals can be that broke)
• Your nice picture can remind her of positive feelings
• New medium = novelty

Text Example

In the example below, she didn’t reply to my last text.

But then, look what a 180-degree turn when I switched medium: she was thinking about inviting me to a movie but was afraid I’d refuse.

Wouldn’t it have been simpler scheduling when I asked two weeks earlier?

Yes, but that’s what sometimes happens with texts: it doesn’t progress, but it does not necessarily mean there’s no interest from her side.

And that’s when a Text Medium Switch gives you the biggest bang for the buck.

3. Send A Value-Giving Text

Give instead of asking: propose something valuable

We saw in the article on Social Exchange that the best way of getting what you want is to give people what they want.

Ideally, in romance, you won’t provide anything more than being a hot, sexy, and charming man.

But life is rarely ideal. Especially after two unanswered texts, it can be a great strategy to give her something she wants and values.

Why it Works

Right now she perceives you as a guy who’s asking and taking.

Providing something of value breaks that dynamic and flips the script. Now you’re a giver.

Text Example

The girl from the text message below played and studied a musical instrument.

What could be useful for her?Some (further) connection in the composing and music industry was a safe bet.

Now we can’t AB test that, but I’m pretty sure that after an unanswered WhatsApp, an unanswered call, and an unanswered text this was a dead one.

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So I proceeded to invite her to something useful to her.

Notice that exactly one hour later she promptly called me back.

Note:You don’t want to over-provide.Just give one thing that’s useful for her, hint at something more possible, and then close the deal asap.

4. “Make Your Move” Text

From chaser to raiser: her turn or that’s it

This is one of the most effective and by far my favorite.

Basically, you send her a message saying you’ve tried to reach her a few times but you can’t keep going after her and… you will not.If she’s not completely against the idea of a coffee, it’s her turn now.

If she liked you, this text can be a major wake-up call that she’s losing you.You go from “guy who’s chasing indefinitely” to the guy who will stop and demands her to make a move instead.

I especially like to combine this one with “switching medium.” For example: I’ll text twice, call, and if still no answer, then I’ll send this one via another messaging app.

Text Example

5. Drop It… Then Ping Her

A Blast from the Past

This has a much lower hit rate.

But your text might land on some perfect timing: a recent breakup, or some long drought period… and you know you can help with those ;).

You can use it as a flooding strategy: when you’re in downtime copy and paste the exact same message and send it to all the old unresponsive numbers.

Text Example

You can write you were deleting old numbers; or that you either saw her or someone who looked exactly like her; or that you stumbled by mistake on that old conversation.Anything that gives you a plausible way to seem like you stumbled on that number/conversation by accident.

6. “I Am Gone” Text (Scarcity Principle)

The Allure of the Impossible

This one works rather well too.

In some instances, it also worked for me without switching medium and after more than 2 unanswered texts (!).

It’s a huge wake-up call for those women who live their dating life passively, expecting a man on a white horse to smash their front door and drag them to a fantasy castle (and there are many of those!).

I’m exaggerating here with the imagery, but in practice, that’s how many women live their dating life.

Why it Works

It works because now you’re not anymore the guy who’s texting and waiting. Now you’re the guy who’s gone. And that’s it.

All of a sudden they remember you were a cool guy, and you become a missed opportunity. Scarcity and the human tendency to value what we can’t have come to your rescue (see Influence by Cialdini).

I use it with all the girls I liked but never got around to meeting while traveling. If you want to possibly meet those women when you go back, this text is more powerful than anything else you could write.

The Sneaky Variation

I don’t like lying and only used it when I really left. But nothing stops you from using it with women from your same city.

If you do, you can tell her one month later you’re back for a few days and then try to make things happen quickly during that time.

Don’t worry about the “truth” emerging later. If all goes well she’ll be delighted you’re actually sticking around.

The Power Move Variation

If she’s not very forthcoming it will increase your chances if you further rebalance the relationship.

How do you do that?

When she says yes to meeting up, don’t write her anymore. Then write later on, or on some occasion like her birthday, to excuse yourself for not having had the time (see full case study on recovering from a bad date with Facebook).

Power balance restored, and your chances of things happening just increased.

7. “I’m Worried About You” Text

This is another effective one you can use where you pretend you’re worried about her for whatever reason.

Why It Works

It positions you as someone who cares, which will warm her to you. And as someone who takes care of the people around him, which is a typical leader behavior—Godfather style.

Bonus points if you do it because you really care.

Notice she hadn’t replied to 3 of my messages. I stumbled upon her in person again months later and we agreed for a coffee. She hadn’t picked up the phone before.But after I showed I cared, she was asking questions.

Empathy & Caring as a Screening Tool

It works more effectively with women who are compassionate and empathetic themselves.

And these are the kind of people you want in your life.

More than a woman also used it with me (1, 2 examples), and I cherish and remember these thoughtful check-ins.

8. Text Her 3 Dots

If you were in a conversation, a very effective technique is to simply write her name and three suspension points.

If she likes you and you didn’t do anything too wrong, this text works very well in getting a reply and restarting the conversation.

Text Example

Read the whole case study on how to text flaky girls.

9. Use Some Text Flirting

Once you finally brought her to text you back, change the mood of your texts right away.

This is a good video on how to add flirting and good sexual innuendos:

#10. Fix Texting With Personality

Permission to be honest?

Alright then, here it is:

Worrying about her replies is a loser’s game.

Don’t worry though: we’ve all been there.

I don’t mean it in a mean way. As a matter of fact, I’ve been there too.

And if you are ready and willing to walk up the mountain, I’m happy to show you the way.

Read around here and make yourself into a man who doesn’t have to worry anymore about a couple of silly texts.

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