Why Do Toddlers Bite And How To Stop Them - What To Expect

Between ages 1 and 3, many toddlers will bite someone at some point or another. While some stop biting after a few experimental chomps, others may continue at it here and there.

"Oof, my daughter was a biter, and it was so hard," says What to Expect Community parent IceCreamMonster. "Every time we thought we were out of it, an incident report would be waiting for us. It lasted from about 18 months to about 30 months." Here's what's behind this rough new behavior and how parents can manage it.

Key Takeaways

• Toddler biting is common and usually developmentally normal. This behavior is often driven by teething discomfort, big emotions, curiosity, attention-seeking, or frustration when your little one lacks the words to express themselves.
• Respond calmly and consistently when biting happens. Separate the children, comfort the victim first, use simple language to explain to your child that biting hurts, and try redirecting to a new activity.
• Prevention focuses on routine, modeling calm behavior, meeting your tot's basic needs, and reinforcing positive actions. The good news is that most children outgrow biting by ages 3 to 4.

Why do toddlers bite?

Even though biting can seem primal, it’s a relatively normal toddler behavior that happens for a variety of reasons. By biting, toddlers may try to: Trusted SourceCleveland ClinicWhy Is My Toddler Biting %u2014 and How Can I Stop It?See All Sources [1]

• Find relief from teething. Teething is painful; your little one may start biting or chewing whatever's in sight (including your arm!) to find some relief.
• Obtain a reaction. When your toddler bites and you say, "Ow!" it can entice him to do it again to see what reaction he'll get next time.
• Express their feelings. When toddlers can’t quite use their words to share how they’re feeling, they may use biting to convey anything from frustration to sensory overload to boredom — even to show affection.
• Seek attention. Your tot may take a nibble as a way to say, "Pay attention to me!"
• Explore their curiosity. Your toddler may bite simply to see if your arm and doggy's ear taste the same.
• Protect what's "theirs." If a friend at the park takes a toy before he's finished using it, your toddler may bite in response to the frustration.

The good news? Most toddler bites are harmless. Even if one does draw blood, the risk of infection is pretty low.

How to stop a toddler from biting

Along with hitting and kicking, left unmanaged, biting can become a type of aggressive toddler behavior. If you’re not sure how to handle it, you’re not alone. Start with these tips to discourage biting: Trusted SourceAmerican Academy of Pediatrics10 Tips to Prevent Aggressive Behavior in Young ChildrenSee All Sources [2]

• Squash the urge to giggle. Sometimes — especially if it doesn't hurt — a parent's first reaction is to laugh when their children bite them. This road taken may only lead to more "love bites," though.
• Muzzle all biting behavior. That includes your playful chomping of your child's toes or fingers, which sends a mixed message.
• Don't bite back. Biting hurts, and you may think that you can teach your child a lesson by showing him how it feels — but that would be one very confusing lesson.

What to do when your toddler bites

Toddlers are quick. They can end up biting a friend in the sandbox for hogging a bucket before you even know what happened. If you’re not sure how to handle it, you’re not alone. Here’s how to address biting in the moment: Trusted SourceNational Association for the Education of Young ChildrenUnderstanding and Responding to Children Who BiteSee All Sources [3]

• Create space. Separate the biter and the victim immediately after a biting incident.
• Comfort the victim. By attending to the sufferer first, you're reinforcing the lesson that the biting isn’t what gets your attention.
• Address your toddler. Make sure you stay calm and don’t overreact. Be direct and use simple language, such as "Please don’t bite. Biting hurts."
• Validate his feelings. Your toddler may not have the ability to communicate why he resorted to biting. Help him by explaining, "I know you feel angry. You want a turn with the toy. It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to bite." Show him how to express anger and frustration with words like "no" or "I don't like that" instead of biting. Trusted SourceAmerican Academy of Child & Adolescent PsychiatryFighting And BitingSee All Sources [4]
• Redirect. After biting happens, switch your child's attention to something new. A good option? Adult-supervised activities like painting or reading a book together. "I redirect and say 'Do you need something to chew on?' and give her a teething straw," says What to Expect Community parent keeleypuckett.

How to prevent a toddler from biting

As a parent, you'll want to emphasize the lesson that biting isn’t allowed and set your toddler up for success. You can:

• Set a firm "no biting" rule. Make sure your child understands that no biting is allowed, ever.
• Establish a regular routine. Toddlers thrive off of predictability and may act out by biting when they're presented with something unexpected. Talk to your tot about what to anticipate in new or high-energy situations.
• Be a role model. By staying calm in charged situations, you’re teaching your tot to do the same. And when you lose your cool (we’re all human!), make sure your toddler sees you apologize for it.
• Schedule time for active play. For many toddlers, boredom leads to mischief. Make sure you allot time throughout the day for him to move around and release pent-up energy.
• Provide healthy munchies. Some kids bite because they're running on an empty tank. Make sure your child isn't hungry before plunging into the social pool.
• Unwind together. Take breaks throughout the day or when you get home from a long outing or day at day care to do quiet activities together, like cuddling or reading a book.
• Reward positive behavior. Whenever possible, opt for the carrot rather than the stick. Use positive reinforcement, like star charts with agreed-upon rewards, to recognize days or even hours when your tot refrains from biting.

Have more questions about tricky toddler behavior? The What to Expect app is your guide to the toddler years, with expert-backed articles and tips from other parents.

When to talk to the doctor

For most tots, biting is a passing phase that ends once they're around 3 to 4 years old. That's when many kids begin to develop and express the maturity, self-control, and problem-solving skills that put an end to the behavior. If your toddler becomes a preschooler who continues to bite, consult with your pediatrician on why it's still happening and the best ways to address it.

Meanwhile, remember to be patient. It can take time for children to understand boundaries and learn positive ways of expressing themselves.