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10 Polite Ways to Reject a Date Nicely over Text, with Examples Download ArticleExplore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Be tactfully honest. 2 Get to the point. 3 Be clear and direct. 4 Include a compliment. 5 Explain that you’re busy. 6 Highlight your differences. 7 Friendzone them nicely. 8 Let them know you’re already attached. 9 Use “I” statements. 10 Provide a timely response. + Show 7 more... - Show less... Other Sections Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Emily Liu
Last Updated: April 24, 2025 Fact Checked
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This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan and by wikiHow staff writer, Emily Liu. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across fifteen cities in the United States. With over eleven years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 238,015 times.
You’ve just received a text from someone interested in you—they want to go on a date! Unfortunately, the spark isn’t there for you. Rejecting someone politely and respectfully, especially over text, can be awkward and difficult to do, but we’ve got some helpful tips for you to keep in mind.
How do you reject someone nicely over text without hurting them?
Don't blame the other person or point out their flaws; instead, emphasize your perspective. For instance, you could text, “I think you're cool, but I'm looking for something else right now” or “I see you as a friend, I'm sorry.” Stay away from statements like “You might not be the best match for me.”
Steps
1
Be tactfully honest.
Download Article
Being truthful about your feelings clears the air quickly. Phrase your rejection as politely and respectfully as possible—the other person will appreciate your honesty rather than having to guess at how you feel about them.[1]X Expert Source Erika KaplanDating CoachExpert Interview This reduces the chance that their feelings will be hurt later from false expectations.[2]XResearch source
Instead of just replying with “No” or “No thanks,” try texting “It was so nice meeting you, but I’m just not really feeling a connection” or “I’m sorry, but tbh I just don’t think we’re compatible.”
Advertisement 2
Get to the point.
Download Article
Reduce awkwardness and hurt by keeping it short and sweet.[3]X Expert Source Erika KaplanDating CoachExpert Interview You should word your text as kindly as possible, but let the other person know where you stand sooner rather than later in your response: you don’t want to suggest that you’re open to changing your mind.
For instance, instead of starting off with “I think you’re a really nice person and I enjoyed the date a lot,” start off by texting, “Thanks for the date yesterday, but I didn’t really feel a connection.”
If you want to be more direct, you could text, “No thanks, I’m not interested.”
Compliments (like saying you had a great time or that they’re a great person) can help soothe the other person’s feelings, but try not to front-load them too heavily—you want to avoid giving off the impression that you might be interested in the date.
3
Be clear and direct.
Download Article
You don’t want to send mixed messages and create false hope. It may seem nicer to say you “might” be open to a date or that you are a “maybe”—but you shouldn’t say “maybe” if you mean “no.”[4]X Expert Source Erika KaplanDating CoachExpert Interview It seems cruel to reject a date upfront, but it will only be crueler in the long run if the other person is on a different page and thinks they still have a chance with you, leaving you to break the news to.[5]XResearch source
For example, try not to text things like “I might be down!” or “Maybe some other time?”
If you wouldn’t mind hanging out in a platonic sense, you could consider texting something like “I would love to hang out again, but as friends.” This can soften the blow without totally cutting off the connection—but be aware that this is riskier than just offering a plain rejection because it can still lead to incorrect expectations.
Advertisement 4
Include a compliment.
Download Article
This can help the other person feel better about themselves. It might flatter them or boost their confidence, reducing the chance that they’ll take the rejection personally. This will allow you both to minimize any awkwardness and move on.[6]XResearch source
For instance, try texting, “I’m really flattered, but I’m not interested in you in that way” or “I had a wonderful time last night, but I’m looking for something else.”
5
Explain that you’re busy.
Download Article
Giving the other person a reason can ease the pain of rejection. You don’t owe them an explanation, but you could clearly explain that you just don’t have time, or that you’re trying to prioritize other things in life.[7]XResearch source
For instance, you could text, “I’m not interested in dating right now” or “I’m trying to focus on work” or “Sorry, I’m just really busy with school.”
Be aware that telling the other person you’re busy is less strong of a no, and might lead them to keep up hope that you’ll be ready go on a date later.
Advertisement 6
Highlight your differences.
Download Article
Incompatibility is a valid reason for rejection. If you let the other person know that you don’t think it’s a good match, they’ll be more likely to understand why you’re rejecting the date. It’s perfectly understandable if someone just isn’t your type.[8]XResearch source
You could try texting, “I don’t think we have enough in common” or “I’m sorry, but I think we’re really different people” or “You’re super cool, but you’re not really my type.”
7
Friendzone them nicely.
Download Article
It’s better to be clear about boundaries than create false hope.[9]X Expert Source Erika KaplanDating CoachExpert Interview Phrase your friendzone as kindly as possible—it’s still a rejection, but this will help the other person appreciate that you’re being upfront about not feeling a romantic connection, instead of sounding vague or stringing them along.[10]XResearch source
For example, try texting, “Let’s hang out as friends instead!” or “I’d love to get to know you better as a friend.”
Advertisement 8
Let them know you’re already attached.
Download Article
Be honest if you’re in a relationship or seeing someone else. This is a straightforward response that makes it totally clear to the other person why you’re not available for a date.[11]XResearch source
For instance, you could say in your text, “I’m talking to someone else right now” or “I’m sorry, but I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.”
9
Use “I” statements.
Download Article
Focus on your own rationale rather than bringing in the other person. This helps prevent the rejection from getting personal and lets them know that it’s not their fault, which can soothe the sting. Don’t blame the other person or point out their flaws; instead, emphasize your perspective.[12]XResearch source
For instance, you could text, “I think you’re cool, but I’m looking for something else right now” or “I see you as a friend, I’m sorry.”
Stay away from statements like “You might not be the best match for me.”
Advertisement 10
Provide a timely response.
Download Article
Being ghosted can be confusing and painful. You don’t have to respond instantly, but get back as soon as you can to prevent prolonging the situation—you shouldn't leave the other person hanging or worse, on read. Though you might be scared to reject the date, ignoring or putting off the rejection can hurt the other person more. Handling it in a timely manner is kinder, more mature, and also saves both of you time.[13]XResearch source
Try to also avoid texting things like “I’ll get back to you” or “Let me think about it” if you already know you’re going to reject them. This might create an unrealistic expectation that you’ll only shatter later.
Expert Q&A
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Tips
Don’t be cold or cruel—rejection can be really difficult to handle. Try to be firm so that your feelings are clear, but strive to be as kind and gentle as possible at the same time. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
If the other person is being persistent, put your foot down and let them know clearly where things stand. If they keep bothering you, ignore them or block their number. You should only have to say it once. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
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Co-authored by: Erika Kaplan Matchmaker This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan and by wikiHow staff writer, Emily Liu. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across fifteen cities in the United States. With over eleven years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 238,015 times. How helpful is this? Co-authors: 3Updated: April 24, 2025 Views: 238,015 Categories: Texting In other languages German Spanish Portuguese French Vietnamese Indonesian Korean Italian Thai Dutch Chinese Turkish Arabic Japanese
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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Erika Kaplan Matchmaker Click a star to vote Co-authors: 3Updated: April 24, 2025 Views: 238,015
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Download Article Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Be tactfully honest. 2 Get to the point. 3 Be clear and direct. 4 Include a compliment. 5 Explain that you’re busy. 6 Highlight your differences. 7 Friendzone them nicely. 8 Let them know you’re already attached. 9 Use “I” statements. 10 Provide a timely response. + Show 7 more... - Show less... Other Sections Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Emily Liu 
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Co-authored by: Erika Kaplan Matchmaker This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan and by wikiHow staff writer, Emily Liu. Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across fifteen cities in the United States. With over eleven years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 238,015 times. How helpful is this? Co-authors: 3 Updated: April 24, 2025 Views: 238,015 Categories: Texting In other languages German Spanish Portuguese French Vietnamese Indonesian Korean Italian Thai Dutch Chinese Turkish Arabic Japanese 
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Being truthful about your feelings clears the air quickly. Phrase your rejection as politely and respectfully as possible—the other person will appreciate your honesty rather than having to guess at how you feel about them.[1] This reduces the chance that their feelings will be hurt later from false expectations.[2] 
Reduce awkwardness and hurt by keeping it short and sweet.[3] You should word your text as kindly as possible, but let the other person know where you stand sooner rather than later in your response: you don’t want to suggest that you’re open to changing your mind. 
You don’t want to send mixed messages and create false hope. It may seem nicer to say you “might” be open to a date or that you are a “maybe”—but you shouldn’t say “maybe” if you mean “no.”[4] It seems cruel to reject a date upfront, but it will only be crueler in the long run if the other person is on a different page and thinks they still have a chance with you, leaving you to break the news to.[5] 
This can help the other person feel better about themselves. It might flatter them or boost their confidence, reducing the chance that they’ll take the rejection personally. This will allow you both to minimize any awkwardness and move on.[6] 
Giving the other person a reason can ease the pain of rejection. You don’t owe them an explanation, but you could clearly explain that you just don’t have time, or that you’re trying to prioritize other things in life.[7] 
Incompatibility is a valid reason for rejection. If you let the other person know that you don’t think it’s a good match, they’ll be more likely to understand why you’re rejecting the date. It’s perfectly understandable if someone just isn’t your type.[8] 
It’s better to be clear about boundaries than create false hope.[9] Phrase your friendzone as kindly as possible—it’s still a rejection, but this will help the other person appreciate that you’re being upfront about not feeling a romantic connection, instead of sounding vague or stringing them along.[10] 
Be honest if you’re in a relationship or seeing someone else. This is a straightforward response that makes it totally clear to the other person why you’re not available for a date.[11] 
Focus on your own rationale rather than bringing in the other person. This helps prevent the rejection from getting personal and lets them know that it’s not their fault, which can soothe the sting. Don’t blame the other person or point out their flaws; instead, emphasize your perspective.[12] 
Being ghosted can be confusing and painful. You don’t have to respond instantly, but get back as soon as you can to prevent prolonging the situation—you shouldn't leave the other person hanging or worse, on read. Though you might be scared to reject the date, ignoring or putting off the rejection can hurt the other person more. Handling it in a timely manner is kinder, more mature, and also saves both of you time.[13] 
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