Do You Have Any Advice On Writing Wlw Or Mlm Sex... - Izanyas

thank you so much this is so nice of you to say 😭 and don’t worry, i’m not uncomfortable at all!

i agree with you, i think this obsession with fetishization goes much too far and focuses on all the wrong things too. if you want to think of fetishization then think of what men do to lesbians in real life constantly, or what white people do to black people, to asian people, etc. not what people in fandoms do to fictional male characters for fun… and while being lgbt/queer themselves for many of them… the one instance of a general such issue in fandom that i truly think is worth worrying about is stuff like RPF of kpop group members. that’s fetishization. and once again, it is fetishization because it concerns real people.

so much of the stuff i see about this in fandom makes me wildly uncomfortable. i’m not even a particularly sexual person, or someone who enjoys discussing sex at all, but seeing 19 year-olds on twitter say that ever discussing sex or mentioning the existence of sex or acting like sex is a thing that exists in front of teenagers is pedophilia is not a good feeling. i don’t want to go too deep into this because it’s a harsh topic for everyone but this specific puritanistic attitude is responsible for so much pedophilia over the world…

anyway, going back to writing smut!! there is nothing wrong with writing smut for smut’s sake. nothing wrong at all with the existence of erotica for titillation purposes. if this is what you want to write then go ahead! erotica no matter where it comes from or who it targets has never been a genre invested in realism, nor should it become one.

i don’t think the sex scenes i’ve written are especially realistic either (but then again i’ve never slept with a chuuya irl—or was i the chuuya?? 🤔). what i enjoy focusing on when writing sex is kind of embarrassing actually… gentle touches and how nakedness and vulnerability make one feel, the desire for physical and emotional closeness, dumb little clumsy things. i love to write people laughing during sex or like, accidentally punching one another while falling, or getting their hair caught around a shirt button while undressing etc. people leaving their socks on in the most unsexy way. i think all those little things touch people’s hearts, i want readers to smile and blush and feel cozy and satisfied reading all of it! i think i am no good at writing truly sexy stuff.

if you wish to make two characters seem truly attracted to each other then focus on them loving one another’s physical traits, don’t be afraid to write bodies as bodies truly are—hairy, sweaty, fat… all of those things seen thru the eyes of someone in love will not only make your characters seem truly in love, but also make readers feel good about themselves. or at least this is what i believe.

the act of having sex itself doesn’t need to be realistic. write your characters coming at the same second lmao, write women getting off to penetration and nothing else if you want, this stuff doesn’t matter and isn’t fetishistic at all. intimacy i think is what touches readers the deepest, and intimacy shows thru all those little human traits that we feel fond of, in love with… this all sounds so cheesy but i’m smiling writing this. don’t think of what is “acceptable”. think of what one character loves about the other! make your readers feel in love too.